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warnings : angst , alcohol use
｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･
❝and here everyone knows you're the way to my heart❞
｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･
Part of you felt bad for ignoring Jean, it seemed like after your relatively good time on the mission, he wanted to make an attempt at being friendlier to you - only resulting in you shutting him out entirely.
But, you had no time to reflect on that any further as graduation was approaching closer each day, and soon, the Cadet Corps, your home for the past two-and-a-bit years, would be a distant memory.
You couldn't ignore you future anymore, it would be your present soon.
The thoughts of starting a life dedicated to slaying titans and protecting the citizens of the walls brought back negative memories of the last time you had faced the titans, when you were just a kid and now you were soon eighteen. Everyone was. There was no more hiding behind the shadow of being 'just a kid' - you all had to face the reality of the twisted world you lived in.
The memories usually haunted your life in the form of vivid, almost lifelike, nightmares. It was like reliving it all again.
One night, it was particularly bad.
The nightmares were most likely triggered by a briefing earlier that day discussing the different regiments, making you think about what was coming next, and, even more so because of the fact it was the anniversary of that fateful day in Shiganshina. You noticed it in Armin, Mikasa and Eren too. Eren was quieter than usual, Mikasa somehow managed to look even more solemn than usual, and you had caught Armin being slightly teary-eyed outside of his cabin. The other three Shiganshina survivors - Bertholdt, Reiner and Annie seemed less sensitive, but still kept their heads down low, hiding from the past.
It was all piling up on top of you, and the pressure was crushing.
Waking up from your restless sleep, tears were already pouring down your cheeks, making your bloodshot eyes sting.
Looking around the room, you noticed all of the others were fast asleep. Sasha was sound asleep too, which was annoying because she was your usual confidant when it came to nightmares. It wasn't her fault though. You let her rest.
Instead, you turned to your other confidant: the old bottle of rum you kept hidden in one of your drawers for times of emergency. You knew it was a stupid idea, but you had nothing and nobody else.
