A broken girl.
A persistent shadow.
A new light.
🧹
After having her heart broken, starting college is nothing like Y/N expected. She'd thought she was going to have the time of her life now that she'd reconciled with her two best friends and gotten...
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[3. Awkward] ┕━━━━━━━✃━━━━━━━┙
The bathroom stall's wall is cold against my partly bared back and arms. The sounds of girls giggling and talking to one another, toilets flushing and water being turned on and off are all around me, yet I can barely hear any of it. There's a ringing in my ears that only grows louder and louder, shutting everything else out.
Why does he have to be here, now? The gods must hate me. Why else would they punish me like this?
I simply wanted a new start, but I can't even get through one week of university without seeing him, despite the fact that we're supposed to be in completely different areas on campus.
The most popular hangout of the university students... of course he would be here. He's always been the center of attention. Why wouldn't he be here? I'm stupid.
A part of me knows I'm acting ridiculous. Hiding in the bathroom... I'm not a little girl anymore.
"Y/n?" A few soft knocks smatter on the stall wall from the other side. It's Yeeun.
I try to collect myself, taking deep breaths, and the ringing thankfully decreases. I nod, then realize she won't be able to see it. "Yes?"
She's quiet for a few seconds. Probably assessing the tone of my voice, knowing her. "Can I come in?" She then asks.
I turn the look and slide the door open just a crack. Yeeun slips in. She doesn't say anything else, just slings her arms around me and pulls me in for a hug. I know she must've seen Jungkook, too.
"The first time's rough, hm?" She whispers into my hair. She's right. It's the first time seeing him after our big breakup.
I refuse to cry. I don't even feel sad, or angry, or upset. Just numb. I don't know what to feel or think.
We stand like that for another minute before she draws back, still holding my arms, and looks into my face seriously. "I can drive you home right now and we'll order some pizza-"
"No." I shake my head. "I won't let him ruin our night."
She purses her lips and squints her eyes, examining my face. "Y/n-"
"I'm serious. I don't want to leave." Truth is, I want to. I really want to. To go back to the dorms and bury myself under my blankets, strip out of these clothes that suddenly feel so ridiculous, like they're not me anymore, like I don't fit in them or their extravagance... I want to wash away the makeup painting my face into a lie and brush the fake locks out of my normally straight hair.
I'm supposed to like it. I used to love dressing up in pretty clothes and going out with my best friends. But I don't feel like that anymore - I feel like I'm just doing this to please them, not myself. Like telling them I'm fine when I'm not okay at all.
