Parallel Universe - The Wilds

Chapter Two - You don't know what you got 'til it's gone

Marty and I have been friends since middle school. My mother often forgot to pick me up from school. Martha was the only one who waited with me for my mother. She even made her mother wait, because she didn't want to leave me alone. Then her mother took me home, because mine didn't come. They did that a lot. I felt bad about that, so sometimes I acted like my mother is gonna pick me up but secretly I took the bus. That plan wasn't the best, because I couldn't pay for the ticket. When the driver caught me, he was angry and had me leave the bus. So eventually Martha's mom took me home again. She even invited me to have dinner at their house, because my mother wasn't home. After a while they even let me sleep there, because they didn't want me to be alone at home. I remember coming home one day and finding my mother lying on the floor not moving. I screamed: "Mom! Fuck! Mom!!" She didn't react. I took out her phone, because I had none, and called the ambulance. They came actually pretty fast. I was allowed to join the ride. So I went with her to the hospital. It scared me. I was so fucking scared. As soon as we arrived, they took her to a room. They left me alone outside, because I wasn't allowed to come in. So I just stood there, staring at the door. A lot of doctors ran in and out. I remember a nice young nurse asking me what I am doing here. I told her, my mom was in there. She asked me, if she should call my dad. I shuddered. I couldn't open my moth, I couldn't get out a single tone. I never spoke about my dad. And that moment, it was so overwhelming. I was just a 12 year old girl who was anxious as hell. Maybe I would react the same today, if someone asked me about him and I'm 16.

"Okay. Why don't we get you something to eat?", she asked me very calm.

I just nodded. She took my hand and we went to the cafeteria, where she bought me a sandwich and a coke. She was really nice, she just let me there sit in silent and eat. After a while she asked me if there was anybody else to call. I thought of Miss Blackburn, Martha's mother, but I decided not to tell her. So I just said nothing. The nurse got up and went out in the hallway. She said, she would be back in a minute. When she came back, she told me that a lady is coming and I have to answer her some questions. Immediately I threw down my sandwich and wanted to run away. The nurse caught my arm and dragged me down on my seat again.

"Hey don't be afraid. Nothing's going happen to you.", she tried to calm me down.

A tear ran over my cheek and as noticed it, she suggested to explore the hospital. I nodded. I remember we visited some patients and she showed me all the surgery stuff they have there. An hour later, that lady from child services was there. She talked to me, I just can't really remember what about. It's like a blur. Like something I don't want to remember. I guess it was about my mom. The child services lady and I went to my mother's room, as we were allowed to. My mom looked so exhausted, but she still smiled at me.

"I'm so sorry baby.", she said.

"It's okay, I just glad you're still here.", I said and smiled back. I actually had tears in my eyes but I tried to hold them back, so she wouldn't worry.

The lady said to my mother something about violation of the parent custody and that she has to take me with her, as long as she doesn't get better. I stood there in shock. My mother started to cry.

That's the first time she went to rehab and the first time I had to go to a foster home. I remember my first foster parents were terrible. I hated them, I still do. I had to move. I had to change school. I was a total outsider, I hated it there.

"You don't know what you got 'til it's gone" – Lewis Capaldi, One