Parallel Universe - The Wilds

Chapter Three - Love's not for everyone, but I still try

"What do you say Toni?", Billie asks.

"What?"

"Aren't you listening?", Maya says shocked.

"Sorry. I was just thinking about the tactics for the game. What was the question?"

"What do you say to the bracelet Katie got from her boyfriend.", Billie asks again.

Katie proudly holds it under my nose. I look at them and don't know what to say. I'm not very good at all this relationship and boy stuff. Except with Martha. With her I can talk about everything. I shortly think of a good comment on that bracelet.

"Wow. It's beautiful, he really must like you.", I say with a fake smile on my face.

Katie blushes and says: "He's so cute."

"What about you Toni, how's your love life going. Any cute girl in sight?", Maya asks interested.

Yes, they know I'm gay. I'm out to them for, I guess, nearly two years now. I mean I guess everybody already knew it. I'm just glad it's not a problem for anybody. However, I don't like talking about my love life. Especially not with them. It's not that I don't like them or that I don't like talking to them. It's complicated. I don't trust a lot of people. Actually, I do not trust people at all. People leave. People hurt you or you hurt them. Even if you don't want it. I like being alone. Because when you're by yourself, you can only hurt yourself. I don't talk much about my feelings. I don't let people easily in. Probably because I got disappointed so often and because all people in my life leave me. Except Martha, she stays. No matter how fucked up I am. And I am. Fucked up, I mean. Yes, they are cool people but I don't know. I guess we're just friends because of school and training. Technically we aren't even friends. Just people who get along pretty well. So, my love life. Even though nothing is going on, I'm not sure what to say.

"Nah. Nobody. I guess all the girls are running away from me.", I say jokingly and laugh.

The others laugh too.

"Girls, I gotta go. I have to go to this weird reading thing. See ya later at training?", I say quick, so they don't ask more questions.

"Yes captain, we'll be there."

"Gooo Firebirds!", I scream.

"Whoo whoo!", the others scream back.

I take my lunch tray, put it in the box where you put it when you're finished and go to the hallway.

"Love's not for everyone, but I still try" – iann dior, Holding On