Be My Voice in This Present Darkness (Legolas x OC)

~Chapter XXIII~

Vana felt panic rise up in her stomach like a bubble. She was going to pass out soon, she knew it.

"Thank. . . You. . ." she mumbled, and pushed past them to the door, where she fled down the hall.

"Wait!" Achasiel called after her. "You don't know the way back! And I don't want to go and find you for dinner!"

But Vana was too far to hear her. She passed servants and windows, draperies and doors. She was lost again, only this time it was intentional. She wanted to be lost. To lose herself in the oblivion of some forgotten corner. The heels made her trip several times, so she kicked them off as she ran. There were plenty more where those came from.

She soon found what she wanted when she walked past an empty room. It was a little dusty, but the curtains were masses of voluminous b;ack silk, perfect for hiding in.

"Please just let me die. . . I don't want to carry this burden anymore!" Vana mentally screamed. The tears that had been threatening to fall for the past little while spilled out of her eyes and down her cheeks. A few rolled down her nose and brushed off of her mouth. They tasted of salt.

She was responsible for someone's life. It had been uselessly wasted for what? For that elleth to suffer? Who had he been to her? Her father? Her brother? Her lover?

She would probably never know. How would she face the girl when she was better? If she got better. She could fade. And for what? So Vana could get rid of a scar?

It seemed so ridiculous that Vana laughed. Tears continued steaming down her cheeks while she hysterically giggled. Vana then felt awful and wanted to throw up, but the laughing wouldn't stop. She was scared, but her fit of hysterics gradually went away. She snuggled her face into the silk of the curtains. It was soft and welcoming, if a bit on the dusty side. And it didn't judge.

Vana wanted to stay there forever. She would have fallen asleep, except the dust, and she had already slept enough to ruin tonight's slumber. She tried to zone out, and succeeded. She fell eventually into a light slumber. Stress and heartache does that to people; it saps their energy and can rid them of their will to live.

"Vana!" Legolas called. "Come on!"

They were running through what Vana knew to be Mirkwood forest.

"I'm coming!" she laughed. "I just stopped to see the flowers."

"When we get to where I want to show you, there will be plenty of beautiful flowers," Legolas said fondly. "Not as gorgeous as you, my wife, but still worth seeing."

Vana giggled. "You flatterer."

"So that's what I am now. . ."

"Oh yes."

"Well, as long as you feel flattered I don't mind."

Vana blushed. "Stop it."

"And now you're blushing! I love it when you do that, you know."

"You do?"

"Of course! Anyone who doesn't is blind!"

"That's a bit much, Legolas."

"It is not. I simply stated the truth. You know I'm right. Even our son agrees."

"Our son?" Vana felt momentarily confused.

"Nana!" A little elfling with brown hair ran to her and hugged her waist, not being able to reach any higher than that. He jostled her a little.