One Shots w/ Bey

Heartbeat

Y/n P.O.V

Grabbing ahold of the handle I prepared myself to go into a room full of sorrow and mourning. It's always hard losing someone, especially if that someone was created out of love. Hoping to see them one day but the universe decides to take them away adding them to the very dark space as a star for another speck of light. Another one among the billions of others.

Pressing down on the handle I slowly opened the door revealing Beyoncé who sat on the bed of our bedroom just looking down. She seemed out of it and it was my duty to bring her back.

Shutting the door the small clicking sound made her look up at me. I stood against the door with my hands behind my back wanting to give her some space including myself. I didn't have much time to wrap my head learning that my child was gone through a phone call. All I know is that once I heard of it, I quickly made my way over to the hospital to come and support Bey.

"You okay?" I asked her. I don't even know why I asked her that. I wanted to smack my head for asking the dumbest question to someone who had just experienced a miscarriage.

A small smile formed on her face nodding her head with a small whisper of I'm okay. Her smile was so weak I didn't even know why she tried to put up a front.

"No you're not, and that's okay. It's okay to not be okay Bey. During these times, you are not expected to be okay. You're supposed to not be okay actually. You're supposed to take in all that sorrow and sadness and anger and agony and everything else you feel and you're supposed to take it in at this moment. It's a time of grief, allow it. Don't let the expectations of having to be fine at all times interrupt or else it'll hurt even more later on. Allow yourself to feel whatever you want to feel Bey. Take your time alright?"

Her lips trembled with her eyes glossing over. The tears quickly filled up spilling over from the left eye first. She put a hand over her mouth dropping her head down while clenching the blanket that was wrapped around her bottom half with her other hand.

I walked over to her sitting by the side wrapping an arm around her back and pulled her in towards me.

Her head popped up showing me that her whole face was drenched and slightly red.

"I'm so sorry Y/n...."

"Hm? What are you sorry for?"

"I didn't mean for it to happen Y/n, it just happened-"

I nodded my head, "Can you repeat what you said at the end?"

"Huh?"

"Repeat what you said at the end for me Bey."

"That... that it just happened?"

"Exactly, it just happened Bey. It was out of your control. You never meant for it to happen. You're not responsible for it. Sometimes things happen just because. It was never your fault. I don't want you blaming yourself for something that was never your fault to begin with." I held her hand kissing the back of it.

"I just wish that it didn't have to be this way Y/n, why did it have to happen? What was the reason? We would've still been fine even if the baby were to stay." She continued quietly crying making me kiss away her salty tears.

"I don't know Bey, I don't know but if I knew the answer then I would tell you. Don't question it too much. Just let it be and accept it. The first step in healing is to accept the situation you're given and to stop questioning it too much. It's already happened. Continuing to question it will never give you answers till later on. You just have to accept what's happened baby."

"It's so hard Y/n.... I'm trying but I just can't...."

"And that's absolutely fine. There's no deadline for how much grief there will be. Take as long as you want but also make sure that you're still in there somewhere continuing to live your life. You'll be in that dark room full of suffering but you still have to look for that tiny little crack in the wall that shines some light through it. That is hope. Stay by the light, it'll be small at first but eventually the crack will get bigger and bigger the more you heal and then one day the walls around will crumble down setting you free. For now, if you need to stay in the little room to isolate yourself with your feelings then you do just that. I don't need you feeling like you have to put up a front pretending like you're fine when I know that you're not."

She slightly raised her up pecking the tip of my nose, "Thank you Y/n.... but we've only been talking about me. How do you feel about all this?"

The corner of my lips slightly switched up to form a very small smile, "I'm in that same exact room that you are in but as long as I got you and we got each other and support from our family and friends, we can do this Bey. I promise you that."

"I love you so much Y/n. I mean that, from the bottom of my little broken heart right now." She rested her hand on my cheek bringing my head down for a kiss.

"I love you too, but you already know that."

"Well, it doesn't hurt for you to remind me."

Both of us chuckled till a nurse came in releasing us back to home.

________________

Walking back into our house it was bittersweet. I tried not to think too much into it for it would just pull me down further into the ground. Seeing Beyoncé look at me from the back door let me know that she wanted me to come with her.

I walked over to her feeling our hands interlock walking out the door to see the bedazzled sky. The sight was beautiful with all the tiny specks of lights. She sat in the chair hammock pulling me down with her as we scooted closely to each other as much as we could. I saw her hand go up in the air doing a little wave. I did the same before we looked at each other and let out a quick laugh.

Pressing our foreheads against each other, the moment of silence would be a tribute to our little one.