Flakes of Tears

Episode 06

Episode 06

Name

"You look... great... and happy. I'm proud of you, Bianca."

I smiled a bit at him before slowly walking towards his position. I could feel the blazing heat of the fire nearing me and enveloping me with warmth. Nakatayo na 'ko sa gilid niya at tinitingala niya na ako ngayon.

He looked at my arms with bandage. "How are you feeling?"

Umusog siya para makaupo ako sa tabi niya at gano'n nga ang ginawa ko. We were sitting in front of the bonfire while my hands were on my knees as I sat in an Indian sit position.

"Ayos naman na siguro... Medyo masakit pa rin pero... sanay naman na 'ko..." mahina kong bulong habang nakatingin sa apoy.

Strangely, I was enticed by the beauty of its dancing flames. How it could look bewildering and daunting at the same time? You would be attracted by its beauty but once you come close to it, you might be burnt. That's why you should maintain a proper distance from it.

Like me.

I'm like the fire. But why does this man beside me kept on descending to that flame?

"What do you mean that you're used to it? So... this is not the first time that you've done it?" Napatitig ako bigla sa gawi niya, palayo sa apoy na kanina pa 'ko binibihag.

I slowly shook my head.

Yes, I've did this... quite a lot of times. Maybe I'm just lucky or maybe... God still has a plan for me. That's why I'm still living. I don't know why though. To let me suffer endlessly?

"Waenji malhaejwo?" (Can you tell me why?) he asked in Korean. Buti na lang ay medyo natututo na rin ako kahit papaano.

"Let me tell you a story," panimula ko. He looked at me intently with his gray eyes. He is not wearing his glasses anymore.

"Sure, I'll listen," he said with his baritone voice. I inhaled a deep breath as I recall the favorite story that my father told us when we were kids.

"There was once a man who loved his family dearly. His name is Francisco. He married at such a young age that it brought him to be a father at his twenties. He loved his wife and his children and would do everything to protect them. That's why God loved that family. Because they were contented with their life..."

"And then?" Yiv asked.

I sighed. "Until an accident came up. Francisco is a jeepney driver who has brought death to almost ten passengers when he got caught up in a car accident. He also... died." I could feel the tears from my cheeks. "A lot had sued him and his family was piled with debts the moment he was gone." 

I looked at him intently.

"Francisco was my... father."

On that moment, I couldn't feel anything like I'm numb. Until I felt a warm hug that enveloped me. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang maramdaman kong niyakap ako ni Yiv.

"Shh... You don't have to tell me everything when it still hurts. Be comfortable at your own pace of adjusting. Just don't... do that again to yourself. You matter. Remember that."

Humiwalay siya sa yakap at agad hinawakan ang dalawang balikat ko. Tinitigan niya 'ko gamit ang abo niyang mga mata at parang bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko dahil sa titig niya.

Why? Why would my heart beat fast around him?

"Bianca... Remember that you are loved. A lot of people would love to have your bad days. That at least you had your family. You had a work. That you have the looks, that you have a friend and that you have someone to help you. Just don't give up, arasseo? (all right?) You can always... always approach me when you need help."