Flakes of Tears

Episode 26

Episode 26

(tw // sexual harassment, death; read at your own risk)

My head was still spinning despite the modest light. I'm unable to hear, see, or think clearly. Everything seemed to be a blur.

I can hear voices and shouts, but they're faint as if they're coming from miles away, and I'm stuck in a place where all of the sounds are muffled.

"Wim... When I save enough money, I will marry you and we'll have our family. Bibili ako ng bahay sa kung saan mo gustong tumira, wim! We will be happy, right?" I reminisced Yiv and his smile. 

Every memory of us together was suddenly flashing in my mind for an unknown reason. Napapikit ako at naramdaman kong tumulo ang luha ko bago may isang memorya na naman akong naalala.

"Hey! I brought food!" He lifted up Takoyaki and Ramen that he has bought from a Japanese shop. "You should rest. Parang hindi ka na natutulog madalas, wim. You want me to massage you?" He smiled at me.

Again.

Because of the numbness, I can't feel anything, yet I'm sure I'm bawling like a baby. Our circumstance has made me really sad and depressed. I abandoned him without giving him a decent explanation, despite the fact that all he ever did was support and assist me.

"Hey... Are you crying again? Here, you crybaby." He plunged into a hug. "It is snowing, eh. Kaya ka siguro umiiyak. Tss," he laughed so I punched his chest but he hugged me tighter. 

At the time, I was really stressed and fatigued at work and with my family. He became a haven for me. Because of him, I am always at ease.

"Wim... Why... Why would you turn me down... Our marriage... Alam ko naman... Maghihintay naman ako, eh... Please, don't leave me. Ikaw na lang 'yung lakas ko, eh. Hindi lang naman ikaw nahihirapan, wim..."

As I remembered the night he surprised me after we took a break from our relationship, I cried more and felt a hurt in my chest. It was a marriage proposal, to be sure. I, on the other hand, turned him down like a lunatic.

That... must've hurt. A lot.

Nababaliw na siguro ako kung bakit ko 'yun ginawa. Pero pinili ko lang naman na ayusin 'yung sarili ko. To focus on my mental health first. I've been thinking about other people all my life that I've not taken care of myself. Gusto ko lang naman... maging masaya nang buong-buo.

I'm sorry, Yiv.

Para akong nagising mula sa pagbabalik ng memorya at luminaw ulit ang lahat nang may sumampal sa'kin nang malakas.

Suddenly, I'm in reality again. Akala ko panaginip lang. Nagulat ako nang may makita akong mga lubid na nakatali sa kamay at paa ko habang nasa kama ako, almost naked. I could see the blood on my hands. It was... Bianca's...

Nasa'n na siya?!

I saw a man who looked terrified too but straightened his eyes and started walking towards me.

"Lumayo ka sa'kin! Lumayo ka! P-please! 'Wag ako! 'Wag ako!" I sobbed and he just continued walking towards me. He has a gun in his hands.

"Shhh..." he hushed me as if that will make anything better.

I cried and screamed to make him stop but he didn't even falter. Agad mas lumakas ang iyak ko nang maramdaman ko na ang marumi niyang kamay sa balat ko.

"'Wag... 'Wag ako, please... Barilin mo na lang ako... 'Wag mo 'kong hahawakan... Hajima... H-hajima... (Don't...)" I cried more but he heard nothing when he started caressing my legs, up and down.