this is a more depressing update and i don't know what inspired this one it just kinda came out when i started writing. hope you enjoy and love you all.
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so people you talk to about me would tell you i'm happy and that always have a smile on my face. and thats true.... at least that they can see.
i could tell you that everything's okay like i've been telling the world for years in hopes that one day i might believe it myself but really who am i gonna foul. but i've fouled everyone before. just now it's getting harder.
my smile is starting to fade. i don't look so happy anymore. though my actions still are. i always have pep in my walk but inside my head it's another thing.
i could tell you everything will be alright and not belie myself. i could tell you i'm just stressed and lie straight to your face cause it's easier than facing the truth.
i'm alone. i feel it. i can be in a room full of people but ill still feel completely alone. people will talk to me in that room and ll still feel my heart slowly breaking with my loneliness.
but instead of facing the problem i push it down cause i'm scared of what will happen if i face it. i miss him. i feel alone without him. with him i only felt alone when i couldn't speak to him.
but now i'm counting down to when i'll get to talk to him again... thats if he remembers me.
