PILLS~All Boys Foster Home Story

~What Is This Feeling?~

Guess who's back with a new chapter. Yeah. Me.

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"Like you? As in like date?" I stuttered. I didn't know. I didn't know what to say. What am I to say? He's cute. Adorable but like why would he like me either way. But I can't fall for someone who's supposed to be my family. The idea of dating didn't sound too bad but I can't, not so soon, I don't know if I like him or I'm just being stupid. What do I say?

"Taylor?" I heard Alex say.

"Huh? What?" I said, snapping out of my spiralling thoughts.

"I said. Well yeah?" Alex spoke, curiosity evident.

"I-I don't know..." I sighed.

"Oh... Right. I better get going... I'll send Adam or Ash up to talk with you."

I knew it... He couldn't like me, but why does that matter. I don't like him!

Alex got up, awkwardly waved and quickly left. Leaving me alone with my thoughts. I could feel tears building up in the corner of my eyes, I don't want to cry, I can't be seen as weak! I showed too much weakness by failing to kill myself. Why did I have to fail? No! I can't have these thoughts. No! What is wrong with me.... I need a smoke.

I get up, my breath coming in quick short gasps, my head was spinning, I was going insane. I quickly felt a hand on my arm and in this state I couldn't tell who it was. I pulled away sharply, trying to get away from this person. What did they want? Who were they?!

"Taylor, please try and take a few deep breaths." A voice whispered, sounded like Adam.... Or was it Ash.

I take a shaky breath as the person led me back to my bed, sitting me down gently. The hand on my back was almost comforting...

I only realised then my eyes were squeezed shut, I slowly opened them, looking up at the person. Oh it was Adam, Ash was standing at the door.

"Oh... Its you." I say.

"I know, rather disappointing." Adam joked lightly, eliciting a quiet snort on my part. "Wanna tell us what happened?" He continued tentatively.

"I-I don't know. One second I was talking with Alex about something and then once he had left....i-i broke..." I said, my voice quivering as I think about the conversation I had with Alex.

"What was the conversation about, Taylor?" Ash questioned, moving from his position at the door to sit next to Adam on my bed.

"Nothing. Nothing." I quickly say.

"Hey, hey its okay. We don't hate here and if you don't want to tell us, that's okay." Ash attempts to reassure me.

"He... He asked if I liked him... As if dating..." I whisper.

"He did? Well okay, and do you?" Adam asks slowly.

"I don't know. I really don't know. I almost kissed him earlier. But Luke ruined it but I don't know if I like him." I mumble, ashamed.

"That's okay, it'll be okay. If you do that's okay, if you don't that's okay. Don't worry."

"O-okay... But either way he'll never like me, that's impossible." I say.

"We don't know." Adam says honesty. I nod, not wanting to say anymore.

"Would you like to sit with me in my office? I have some work to do and I won't mind at all if you want to join me.  We're hesitant about leaving you alone especially after that. I hope you understand." Ash offers.

"I-I'll sit with you... Where's my phone? I want my phone, I want to listen to music." Taylor questions.

"Tell you what, we can put whatever song you want on through the speakers in my office." Ash reasons, not explaining the situation with my phone.

I resist the urge to roll my eyes but nod anyways and slowly stand up.

"I can print off a colouring sheet if you'd like, not like a childish one of course or you can read or something?" Ash smiles.

"I'll bring a book." I say, grabbing the first Harry Potter book from where I keep them and followed Ash down to his office.

I sit on the beanbag he has in the corner of his office and open up my book.

"What music do you want?" Ash smiles at me again.

"Umm.. Playlist of Everybody's talking about jamie?"

"Sure. Alexa play the Playlist of everybody's talking about jamie."

"Playing Everybody's talking about jamie by--"

I zoned out from what she was saying when she started listing the artists. (Imma be honest. I don't know how many artists they list but if it's anything like the Hamilton Playlist, it's a fuck tonne. I would go check now with my alexa but my parents are downstairs and it's been a while since I've listened to the Playlist via Alexa.)

"What's this from anyways?" Ash questions after a bit.

"Oh. It's a musical about a boy who wants to go to prom in a dress. Pretty awesome. Someone posted the musical on YouTube, that's how I found out about it and watch it."

"Cool. Sounds awesome. Might check it out. How child friendly is it?"

"Umm... Swears, slightly rude in some places, mentions of homophobia." I say, looking up from my book.

"Okay." Ash looked back at his computer and continued typing.

I nod slightly and start reading again. This is relaxing.

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Yo, back with another chapter. So my uploads have been really fucking irregular and I doubt any of you care but I feel I should leave an explanation. So basically just blame my school. The amount of work they set me has me wanting to scream.

And also everybody's talking about jamie is a fucking awesome musical and there is a very Umm legal  version (*coughs*) of the musical on YouTube and I hope it don't get taken down again because its awesome. Y'all should check it out.

Hope you like this story and might I remind everyone that I do not appreciate hate. Although thank you everyone for the lovely comments I also get. I'm glad you like the story!