Strands of Time

Class 10 : Airhead

I live my days,

Pretty much governed by,

What my mother says.

I have a free will,

But even though I'm sixteen,

In this half of the hemisphere,

That will is sealed.

All these years,

In this house,

My presence has been smaller than a mouse.

Now I'm in 10th grade,

And suddenly that's all that matters.

Life is not a parade,

Not that it ever was to begin with.

But still, I feel like I'm under the sea,

Where there's pressure from above and below,

And all around me.

Now my life is being scrutinized,

Suddenly I'm under Mom's magnifying glass,

And I'm expected to top my class.

I wonder if I'll be able to live upto ,all these great expectations.

I feel like I'm cracking,

I can hear the sounds ,

Of my patience snapping.

"Grit your teeth and work hard", everyone says.

The truth is as clear as day.

10th grade is crucial, don't play it away.

Abstinence is the path to glory.

I don't know why,

But I feel like a fake under disguise.

I just want to close my mind,

Pretend I'm blind,

To all the effort you're putting in Mom.

Just say it, I know I'm pathetic.

Then again it's nothing new, we both know I'm dumb.

Mom, I'm sorry I didn't inherit your genes.

Everyday , I feel like it's my greatest sin.

I'm not a brainiac,

Not like sis anyway.

She got those awesome brains of yours,

Anyone can see that from my math scores.

And all I got was grand dad's stupid height.

That little difference in brains,

And I feel like we're not even from the same kin.

I know you don't mean to,

But you make me feel like I'm worthless.

I'm sorry I have short-term memory.

These days it seems to get only worse,

I feel like my brain has turned into a sieve.

Author's Note: This as you can probably guess was written in a state of depression. I have the dreams of becoming a very influential writer in the future but sometimes I feel like that's so silly. That i should aim for a "real " career like in my country, everyone's fixated on 'doctors' or 'engineers' or something like that. Anything other than a pure science student is pretty much scorned in my family.

But you know , we can't help what the heart wants. I really wonder at times like this, whether I'm delusional and just wasting my time. Am I really helping anyone with my writings ? Did I succeed in connecting with my reader at all ? How abt a smile or even a knowing smirk ? I thought of re-naming this "my life's story " but I think " Airhead" sums it up better.