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the author speaks:
i am thoroughly convinced my readers
are insane <3

the author speaks:i am thoroughly convinced my readersare insane <3

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mikki

"how do you feel?" mom said, turning her head to look back to me.

"nervous."

"good luck today."

⤎⎼༌·⋱🩰⋰⋆༌⎼⤏

auditioning.

i was brooding on brady's words throughout the whole week and it couldn't have come at a better time. abby's audition.

she's not going to accept me. but the producers will. they'll want drama and taking me back in will bring drama, if not anything else. yes, i was scared. yes, i was nervous. yes, i was ready.

as soon as i walked into the dancer's den, there's silence. i saw sarah, hannah, gia, lilly and pressley. and brady. i waved nervously and there was instant uproar. i laughed as arms rained down on me, hugging me and exclaiming and asking questions.

"what are you doing here?"

"you ok, mikki!"

"you're back!"

the smile didn't leave my face.

until i walked in the room and abby's jaw fell open.

i am so screwed.

⤎⎼༌·⋱🩰⋰⋆༌⎼⤏

abby's upset. her best friend's in a coma. i get it. i really do. to lose someone kills you. and it hurts. it hurts physically.

but pressley and lilly got jackets. i was delighted for both of them. i really was.

but i had to focus on me. the other girls looked like great dancers, and they were beautiful, all of them. i say the other girls because hannah's brother was way to small to be in the group routine with all the taller girls, there was no way abby was going to choose him, it's about the look. i had something none of the others did. i had chemistry with the group. i knew how they worked, how the show worked, and this time, i was going to do it properly. i was in a better mindset, a stronger one. the weeks in arizona had affirmed my decision - these were my people, this was my team. i was ready to dance with them again.

"hi, this is mikki," mom said, "i'm sure you know her already."

the mom's faces in the glass room above looked pitying. they knew why i had left. the moms were scoping out everyone.

"what we're going to do today is to put you in the group dance, you're going to learn the choreography right now and that's going to be your audition," abby said. she seemed to be ignoring me for the time being. as soon as i started to dance however, she was going to begin thrashing me.

"as the day goes on, i'm going to cut some people and we'll see what we have left. moms, upstairs. be careful, you want to leave alive."

abby began explaining the dance concept. a town choosing a child using a lottery, and then they sacrificed the child by stoning. it sounded weird and twisted and dark and messed up on so many levels, but that's dance. it's about making the audience feel. not always happy and light, but uneasy and awed.

it felt like i was alive again. the constant pressure, the whispers, the producers watching everything i do. it was exhilarating now, rather than damaging.

the choreography was complex and intricate, but i had nine weeks more practice learning choreography fast than the other kids. it was...easy.

"ok, paris, right split," abby directed. paris performed one.

"mikaela, front aerial, three pirouettes." abby was definitely picking on me. but brady gave me a warm smile and i felt confidence rush through me. i did as i was told, not stumbling or pausing for a second.

"this is already way, way longer than i would have taught this dance for. we would have already been a minute through," gianna said, shaking her head, "and people are still not knowing the first step."

"ok, that's unacceptable. some of you can't stand on two feet. let's start with the bad news. let me start with you, william. i just don't think the height of the girls and their ages are going to work for you." he nodded. "so for right now, you're out."

the knot in my stomach tightened.

"i'm dismissing elaina, landrey and ellie. i think it was a little too soon."

my muscles tensed up. i felt an arm around me. i looked up to see brady's face, almost as tense as mine. he cares. he cares. my heart lifted a little.

"paris, berkleigh, mikaela."

i was annoyed berkleigh had made it this far.

"you all get to come back tomorrow!

maybe i'll be back with my team.

maybe i'll be back with my team

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