Of A Lifetime

DREAM or REALITY

In a beautiful summer morning, the birds chirped melodically outside.

Inside a courtyard, simple in style and mostly adorned with flora and fauna, a maiden laid in its canopy bed.

Her eyelashes trembled, slowly opening.

She laid there in a daze as she took in the place.

She first saw the morning sun's light piercing through the crack of the windows.
The wooden table near the bed. The gauze-like material of the curtains.

The room was an overall of white and brown. Simple.

Like her room.

The room she lived when she was but a scholar's daughter. Her family's house.

Still in a daze, she thought, 'Even in death, my soul knows where home is.'

To have this place conjured up before death, Su Jin thought of how she truly missed her room.

Her family.

After three days living in this beautiful dream, Su Jin never wished to wake up.

To live in this dream forever.

Su Jin never even thought that this could possibly be reality. For how could it? She was 18 again, in her room, and with her family. These could only be a dream.

Not until on the fifth day.

Her personal maid happily delivered the news of her father being back.

'Back? From where?'

The maid didn't see her confusion and went on saying, "Miss, it's been almost three months since the master went to Fei City. You must have missed him dearly."

'Fei City'

Su Jin remembered of the time when her father went to Fei City on the emperor's command.

'But how could a dream be so detailed on what happened in the past?'

She felt confused. But the urgent reminder of the maid made her throw the thought at the back of her head. She wanted to meet her father.

...

Days went on peacefully as Su Jin kept herself entertained in her quarters.

As days passed, many things that happened in the past also occurred. Such as a certain minister's daughter's scandal, a squabble of drunk young masters in a pub, and of the competition of the kingdom's princes on the throne.

It was the same. Too detailed for Su Jin..

'Too real.'

She breathed nervously, the thought of this being real resurfacing again.

She brooded over this thought but even until a week, she still thought it to be incomprehensible.

Noticing his daughter being too unusually quite, Father Su called her for tea.

The father and daughter drank tea at their favorite pavilion where the flowers could be admired in full view.

It was a quiet tea time and flower viewing.

"Xiao Jin, is there anything bothering you?"

This daughter of his was never the talkative or jolly type. Quirky at times but never too quite.

Su Jin was about to open her mouth to deny but her father beat her to it.

"No need to deny. Anyone with eyes could see something is weighing on your mind." He said this almost mechanically. Not even looking at the one he's speaking to, but Su Jin knew, this was how her father was. This was how he showed that he cared.

"I. . . .I can't seem to differentiate a dream from reality father."

It went silent for a while. He put back his cup on the table and said, "Then put one's self in between. Be the fair judge of what is real....or not."

Su Jin felt herself stupid for making this a big deal. Hearing what her father said, Su Jin knew now what to do.

Who knew with what's real or not? Nobody could answer this but herself.

She suddenly stood up. Excusing and thanking her father as she ran towards her room.

...

Inside, there laid in front of her paper and brush.

Jotted down were the events that happened in her dreams. Though farfetched, Su Jin knew deep down that both were real. Her dream and the reality she knew were real.
But she needed proof.

So she'll get some.

Su Jin waited for the days, the events that would happen. And not surprisingly, everything happened exactly as it should.

She sat at her chaise. Going through the observations she's made.

"Its real. I really am back."

'I knew my reality was that I died of old age. But this dream, after being here for too long, also became real. I not only go hungry, eat and feel but everything is real.'

"I really came back." Su Jin exclaimed out loud.

Back to her home. Back to when she was just a maiden. Back to the time when she was free from rules, etiquette,and every one's expectations.

It took time for Su Jin to assess what was what but it took her but a day to decide not to follow the same path.

The path to........an eventful life.

...

Su Jin sat facing her father in the study saying, "Father, I would like to go visit father's hometown."

When she was 13, they once visited her father's hometown. There lived her father's ancestral home. She remembered how happy and welcomed she felt there. All the elderly adored her, cousins were playful and caring, and female cousins guided her patiently. Life there was simple.

'Yes, simple. I would trade everything for such a life.' Su Jin smiled at the thought.

He sipped his tea as Father Su thought it over, then said, "I am now on vacation. I could leave for a little longer maybe 1 or 2 more months that means including travel, we'll be out for more than 3 months."

Su Jin didn't interrupt. Her father was still not finished calculating.

"This would be fine. It would also be just the right time to choose a betrothed for you once we come back."

Su Jin flinched at the mention of a betrothal.

"Yes, father." She said her thanks and excused herself.

God knows she had no intention of coming back.

Back in the capital. Back to where it all would and will happen.

She purposely  said 'visit' for she knew her father would never agree of her staying there for good.

'I'll think of how not to get dragged back here when the time comes.'

"Marriage?"

She paused walking, looking at the cloudy night sky. . .

"One lifetime of being virtuous is enough."

She said with a bitter smile.