Weathered Angel

○Twenty Nine○

I sat in the corner of my room, my knees pulled up to my chest and my head in my hands. Despite my increased body heat, I couldn't stop the shivers that trembled back and forth through my body. As each minute pressed by it got worse. I clenched my jaw and tensed my body willing it to stop, but there was only so much I could focus my mind on.

I had been trying to keep my mind clear and still. Now, I started to resign myself to letting my thoughts bleed through my fingertips and darken the room.

I could hear them. I could hear them in the dark, their voices slowly getting louder, gaining strength as they clawed at the back of my head. They wouldn't go away, because Tsing wouldn't let me have my drug. She wouldn't give it to me and I needed it so bad. They kept refusing, telling me I needed a detox so that they could start again but I couldn't wait that long.

I released a breath hearing the shakiness and rasp as it rushed out from my chest. My heartbeat was in my ears but that didn't stop me from hearing the clicking of footsteps as they passed my door or the tedious clicking and whirring of the cameras I had broken in a fit of rage.

The air smelt like stale copper. The scent flooded my nose and rooted a sense of nausea in the pit of my stomach. The stench flashed red behind my eyes causing them to fly open.

More red, orange and brown.

Smeared blood trailed to the soles of my shoes. I took note of the stickiness on my hands now painted on my face. I hovered my bloody hands in front of my face and just stared. I admired and scrutinised the stark contrast to my pale hands and noted how the red appeared across my blue veins. On the backs of my hands my knuckles stung with the movement of my fingers. The broken skin looked angry as I remembered how it felt when I slammed my fist repeatedly against a doctor's jaw and cheekbones. I remembered the ache as I choked a guard against the broken mirror.

My eyes trailed to the glass shards scattered on the other side of the room like a reflective sea. On that side there was a blood trail from the glass to the door, where his body had been hurriedly dragged out in case I went after that person, too.

My bed was overturned. The sheets were sprawled around the place and the pillows were thrown somewhere. Paintings on the walls were shredded, their wooden frames dislocated. My environment was a state because of me, yet I couldn't find it in myself to care.

A resounding click made my head snap to the opening door. I shot up. An ache ran down my spine to my legs. I folded my arms to obscure my shaking hands and stood close to the wall so that I could partially lean on it.

Tsing stood in the doorway, face twisted in a grimace, behind three guards.

I kept my chin up and eyed them all.

"You've caused quite a mess and hurt quite a few people just being in here."

"Then let me out or give me what I want." My eyes narrowed into a glare to make up for the weak rasp in my voice.

"Unfortunately for you, I can't do that. I have plans. She slipped on a pair of white gloves before pulling out a clear syringe. It wasn't blue nor purple like I craved. "No matter what, I'm going to give you a dose of this."

"What is it?"

"Let's call it pain relief."

I shook my head in irritation. "I don't want it." It wasn't what I wanted and therefore I didn't need it.

"You may not want it, but you will have it I'm afraid."

Tsing tapped one of the guards, then they all advanced.

●▪︎●

I felt at ease in the dark. Safe. It was my home. My place of peace. Until I didn't. Until I wasn't.