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4 MONTHS LATER

Malik Kades•
"Leek"

"So Mr. Kades you have returned to football late in the season. Coach Bryson vouched for you that he thinks you're the best thing to happen to The Aggies. You aren't original from Carolina correct?" The reporter asks.

I clear my throat looking around the room at the reporters. "Yessir I'm from Louisiana." Just that alone causes most of the women in the crowd to gush. "And nah my team is filled with some of the greats. I'm just a rookie."

"You're being modest Malik." The reporter says causing me to laugh. "You have to be one great rookie to get recruited in the middle of the year."

I shrug. "I'm blessed." I say honestly.

So much have happened over the four months. It took a lot mostly everything in me. I had to push my body to so many limits. Work out every single day, leave the streets alone, and not give up. Luckily my high school coach pulled some strings and sent a video over to Coach Bryson at North Carolina A&T. And just like that Coach Bryson flew me out here to show him what I got. After that he enrolled me that same exact week. And now I'm a freshmen rookie for The Aggies.

I'm literally blessed. And honestly I pray every night thanking God for this. For saving me.

"Any girlfriend?" A female reporter asks her eyes roaming me.

Coach Bryson looks at me laughing. "Multiple." He jokes causing the whole crowd to laugh.

I laugh shaking my head. "Nah sweetheart I don't have a girlfriend. My main focus is on football. Anything else is a distraction."

She nods understanding her smile fading though. "Who's next?" I ask looking around.

"Me!" A man yells from across the room. I point at him nodding. "There are rumors going around that two years ago when you were a senior in college you were shot multiple times. And that that ruined your football career momentarily. Is that true? Is that why you are just now enrolling and playing again?"

I frown looking over at my coach and my parents who are sitting beside him. Lia sitting next to my mom. My mom nods telling me to go ahead. I sigh leaning into the mic the moment turning serious. "I know what y'all do," I call him out. "Present athletes as thugs. I was playing football everyday and had recruiters knocking at my door. An accident happened and I was shot. And yes it paused my career for a minute. But I fought to get back here and here I am." I smile proudly.

The crowd, my parents and coaches clapping proudly supporting me. But the reporter just had to keep going. "Do you think you are fully healed though? Injuries like that can last forever. What happens if you are out on the field and you are hit at a hard impact? What happens then? Will you pause again?"

Everybody falls silent and the laughing stops. I laugh keeping my cool. "Well let me explain this to you...Rod," I read his name tag. "You've never played football so you don't know what it's like. Nor have you experienced an injury as great as the one I've had. If I wasn't able to bounce back without pausing then I wouldn't be here. Simple." I shrug.

"The ladies would like to go back to the question asked earlier," a woman from some Magazine speaks up. "Though you think women are a distraction at the moment. Will you later settle down? Those hotel rooms during tours can get lonely. Plus who will root you on in the crowd?"

I'm quiet for a minute. My mind drifting back to Cassia guilt consuming me. My last conversation with running through my head. She told me that she needed me really bad and I pushed her away. My ego and pride too big thinking of how she rejected me in the bathroom. And now she wants to talk and needs me now that I'm taking off? Make it make sense.

"There is a girl who is special to me together or not. Patience come here." I motion for her to come over. Everybody gasps as she walks over smiling widely taking a seat on my lap. "This is who currently roots for me in the crowd as y'all say," my eyes search her face as she stares at me with love in her eyes.

"My ride or die."


Cassia Chase•
"Cas"

"You gotta call em." Keisha pressures me. Dropping one of the pregnancy tests onto the counter.

I shake my head. "He got shit going on Keisha." I run a hands through my hair.

"Fuck that shit." She snaps. "You already a couple months pregnant. You need to talk to him now."

She passes me the phone and I sigh a tear slipping down my cheek as I click his contact. Seconds later his voice comes from the other side. Loud noises all in his background. "Wassup?"

"Malik I-"

"So what you missing me and shit cause you see I'm up and doing better?" His voice is filled with coldness.

My mouth drops and my feelings get a little hurt by that. "No it's not even like that Malik."

"Then tell me what it's like Cassia," he demands nonchalantly. "Because I got shit happening right now I can't afford to be listening to no bullshit right now."

I feel my chest tightening and I start breaking down crying. "P-please Leek. I never asked you for anything but right now I really need you." My voice cracks a little bit.

Fear inside of me. I never thought I'd be pregnant but I definitely am. Four months pregnant. Just the thought of having a child scares me. Going through the process alone just seems unbearable. I tried everything to be cautious and even though I was on birth control I still ended up pregnant. They say it takes a village to raise a child and I don't even have that. All I have is myself and Keisha and I don't know the first thing about being a mother. I grew up an only child I don't even know how to be a sibling. Yeah I watched Lia but she's a good kid and didn't give me any issues. I'm just afraid to have a child. I just wish Malik was here with me to figure it out.

The other end is quiet for a minute. When he talks his voice sounds emotion filled but his words aren't the same. "Whatever it is figure that shit out. Take care of it yourself. We just not meant to fuck with eachother." And with that he hangs up.

I break down crying and I feel Keisha rubbing on my back trying to sooth me. "You know you can take care of it. I know you might not agree with that but it is your body. You do have other options," Keisha suggests. "And you know I'm there for you regardless."

• • • •

I lean back tears falling down my cheeks. My lower half completely numb and the table under me cold. The doctor stares at me in sympathy. "You feeling okay?"

I nod fear causing my body to shake. "I-I'm fine." I whisper. Nurses come in setting up the stuff for the anesthesia. One of them preparing everything and the other one taking a seat in a chair holding my hand for support. My legs parted and my hands shake just by seeing the different knives and things that will be used. The doctor takes a clamp opening me up down there.

I close my eyes taking a shaky deep breath. "God please forgive me." I beg.

I know you guys might not understand. I know you may not agree or you may hate me for what I did. Shit even I hate me. But I hardly grew up with a mother in my life, I don't know the first thing about being one. It may all sound like excuses but I know that I can't give my child the best life he or she deserves. And her father wants nothing to do with her. Yeah he doesn't know but just me telling him I needed him meant nothing. He's finally taking off and making something of himself and all a baby will do is complicate that. We can't even last by ourselves let alone with a baby. We're toxic and wouldn't be able to give that child the love they deserve. I just pray that God forgives me for the choice I'm making. I know pro choice is a thing and that I have a choice to my own body but I also had sex. I'm drawn between the two because I'm not ready to be a mother or don't want to put my body through that. But I also had sex and this is a child.

They place the oxygen mask over my mouth and nose and start counting down. Before I know it I'm out.

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