9. I hope so too

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Holy shit

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Holy shit. I still can't even process it. Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined Louis asking me something like this.

He wants me to sleep with him. Next to him on a bed. Every night. Or well until he figures out that he was wrong.

That's what I'm scared of. What if it doesn't work? What if he was just lucky those few times. Maybe it's not me.

I mean how could it even be me? How could it be anyone? Is it even possible? I don't think it is.

I'm so afraid that he's gonna realize that I'm not his cure or whatever in a few days. I'm gonna be the one that gets hurt.

Just imagine someone telling you that you're the cure to their disease. It feels so indescribable. And then imagine that person telling you that they made a mistake.

If that would happen it would crush me. Or well my heart. Same thing.

But at the same time, if it is me, it could be an amazing thing. It would give us a chance to actually get to know each other. And maybe he could even start liking me back.

Or maybe he would realize what an awful personality I have. That's another fear of mine.

But if it's me I can actually help a person. I can help Louis with a disorder he's had for years. That would be pretty amazing.

I could help him sleep. I could help him actually get a good rest for once.

Actually now that I think about it everything makes sense. It makes sense why he has these awful bags under his eyes and why he always seems exhausted.

I can't even imagine what it must feel like for him. I can't even imagine not falling asleep every single night.

What does he even do during the nights? Like does he just lay in bed or does he actually do something.

I mean we all have nights where we just can't fall asleep but I don't even want to know how it feels if that happens every single night. It must be terrible.

                         🦋  🦋  🦋

"What's up baby? You look stressed." Zayn asked me as we ate dinner.

"Oh nothing. Just thinking about...stuff. Nothing to worry about."

"Okay good. You do know that you can talk to me about absolutely anything though, right?" He asked me.

"Yeah if course. You can talk to me as well. I'll always be here to listen." I said with a smile.

"I know baby. Do you want to cuddle after we finish? That always makes you feel better." He suggested.

"Yes please."

So that's what we did. I spent the rest of the night in my brother's bed, cuddled up to him. And that's how we fell asleep as well.

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