Everlong

15

I woke up the next day and ran to the bathroom. I nearly didn't make it in time as I threw up everything in my stomach. There wasn't much, so it was mainly stomach acid and it burned my throat. I threw up 3 more times before my stomach finally settled down. I hadn't gotten much sleep last night. I tossed and turned for the 3 hours I tried to sleep. My mind was on the same person it has been for close to 7 years. Brian Quinn. The only thing that got me to start getting ready for the day was the fact that I was going to see my babies for the first time in 3 months. I quickly got dressed and headed downstairs to see Sal reading a book on the couch.

"Couldn't sleep either?" I asked. He shrugged.

"I don't sleep much these days."  I walked over to the couch and sat next to him. "Have you figured out where you're going to live?" Sal asked me. I had to give up my house when I went to Iraq. I shook my head no. "Do you want to move in here." I felt my eyes go wide.

"Sal, I would love to. But I have the twins. And a screaming baby in 6 months."

"I love all of you, screaming baby included. And I have plenty of room." He shrugged again. "Plus, I know that you're a clean person. So I won't have to worry about germs." We both started laughing and I gave him a side hug.

"Thank you. You're the best big brother ever! Just don't tell Joe that." I laughed the last part.

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Sal and I pulled up to Brian's house and I quickly got out, very eager to see my children. I walked up to the door and knocked. When the door opened, I saw April. Perfect April. With her perfect blonde hair and her perfect boobs. Even her teeth were perfect. I internally rolled my eyes at her, but smiled on the outside.

"Hi April." She gave me a fake smile.

"Hello Sabrina." Sal walked up and put his hand on my shoulder. April moved to the side so that we could enter the house.

"You know, Sal? I could have sworn there were 2 babies here! Have you seen them?" I yelled out to the house. Out of no where, I heard 2 very loud screams come from the play room and I laughed my ass off as I saw my children running to me. I knelt down and they tackled me. I could feel the tears falling as I held my children. I was so happy to be home.

"Where's Brian?" I asked April, once the twins let me up. I swear I saw her smirk.

"He's upstairs. Putting together the baby's nursery." Ouch.

"Oh how fun! Are you excited?"

"Very excited to be a family!"

"Mama mama!" Alice was pulling my shirt.

"Yes, my love?"

"Daddy and April are having a baby!" She told me, with so much excitement in her eyes. Just then I saw Brian enter the room in the corner of my eye.

"I know! Daddy told me. But I have a secret too! Mama is having a baby as well!" I heard the twins scream in excitement. I finally turned to Brian and gave him a small smile. Sal finally cleared his throat, obviously too uncomfortable. I saw April look at Brian and then at me. She walked over to Brian and whispered something. He nodded.

"Sorry Sabrina. Now isn't a good time. Can you come back tomorrow?" He asked me. I felt my heart lower to my stomach.

"Can I take the twins with me?" He shook his head no.

"We've got a family day planned with April's family. Going over the last minute wedding details. The wedding is in 2 weeks." I just nodded my head, refusing to let the tears fall. I knelt down by the twins and gave them a kiss goodbye. They were crying in protest to me leaving. Sal had to drag me out of the house. When we finally got to the car, I lost in. I covered my face with one hand as I sobbed and held onto the car with the other hand. I felt Sal put his hand on my back, comforting me.

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I have been back for a week. Brian has refused to let me see the twins. There's always an excuse with him. I've just been spending all my time at the house with the guys. They do a really good job of distracting me during the day. But when I'm alone at night, I just want to die. He's marrying her in a week, and there's nothing I can do about it. He obviously wants nothing to do with me or our new baby. I was laying in bed crying, when I heard a soft knock on the door. I sniffled and got up and opened the door to see Sal. He gave me a soft smile and I moved so he could come into my room. I quietly closed the door. We sat down on the bed and talked for hours. We talked about anything and everything that wasn't about my children or their father. And I was thankful for that.

"How are you really feeling?" He asked me finally. I sighed.

"Rejected. Unwanted. Like a second option to keep on the back burner incase of emergency." I shrugged and looked at my hands.

"See and that's what really pisses me off! He's got this amazing family and this incredibly amazing woman that is way out of his league! And he's throwing it all away to be with miss fake boobs!" Sal started yelling. I started laughing. Sal turned to me. "I mean it though. You're gorgeous, and funny, and an incredible mom. I have no idea why he's throwing that all away!" I'm not sure what came over me. Maybe it was the hormones, maybe it was all due to the fact that someone was making me feel wanted. But I quickly leaned forward and kissed him. He looked at me with wide eyes.

"I'm so sorry!" I said and tried to get up. He grabbed my wrist and pulled me back into him as he stood up. He leaned down and kissed me back. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he wrapped his around my waist. He pulled me close to him as we were kissing, each kiss become hungrier. He picked me up and sat me on the bed. He started trailing his kisses down my neck. I moaned out. Suddenly he stopped what he was doing.

"I'm sorry." He whispered and left the room. Closing the door as he went. I just laid back in bed and cried for the rest of the night. Feeling more confused and rejected than before.