There Must Be Something More

110 | Undeniable Peace | Coming Home From the Hospital

I couldn't remember anything except the searing pain on my back, arms, and legs.

I grimaced to see Grandpa Chuck and Meredith sitting beside my bed. They looked up as soon as they heard me grunt and were all up in my face as soon as possible.

"You're awake," Grandpa Chuck said, putting a hand on mine. He squeezed my wrist tight, as if he held on for dear life.

"I'm fine," I said. Although I did not know what had happened to me. All I remembered were flashing lights and then nothing.

"You blacked out," Meredith filled in. She pulled the ladder-back chair from behind her and sat down with such tense.

"I told you, I'm fine," I reassured, trying to sit up, but then colors danced in my eyes and I had to flop right back down the bed.

"No, you're not," she said. "At least, not enough to move freely. But other than that, you seem to be okay."

"The doctor came in here with the results, and thank God you don't have any fractures or anything serious like that," Grandpa Chuck chimed in. "Just a few bruises and wounds and scratches, but you'll probably be up and about after a few weeks."

"I pray that this'll only be until after a few weeks." I snapped.

"What happened back there?" Meredith asked. She pulled something from her jeans pocket and it was Dad's reading glasses--except now they're shattered and completely totaled. 

I shook my head and turned away from her. "A lot of things happened."

"Like what?"

I turned to her. "Are you sitting down?"

Meredith looked down herself and looked at me in a Dude-You-Can-Totally-See-That face.

"I had a dream a few nights ago," I began. I rubbed my hands together in nervousness. "About something that might happen to me."

"And?" Meredith urged.

I told them about the dream, pausing to catch my breath in-between sentences. I didn't leave out any detail and was honest about everything. 

After all this, Grandpa Chuck smiled, but Meredith didn't crack an expression.

"So?" I asked them.

"Well, what did the Lord tell you about the dream?" Meredith finally spoke up.

I scoffed. "I tell you every bad decision I made over the past few days and that's all you tell me?"

"No, I mean it," she snapped. "What did the Lord tell you about the dream?"

I felt dumb. I shrugged at the idea. "I... guess I didn't really ask Him. I was too busy in my own feelings and emotions that I forgot to do my devotions already."

"There's the problem," she said bluntly.

I felt a twinge of offense. "Huh?"

"Charlie, you just went and accepted that dream as if it were the sure truth. You don't even know what God says about it yet--HE is the truth."

"I... guess I didn't really think about it like that."

"Never ever decide a thing without hearing from the Lord first. Protect yourself from tribulations."

"I didn't know..." was all I could say.

"That's how important doing your devotional is. It gives you life. And if you don't have it, it will bring death. Spiritual and/or physical."

I shook my head and chuckled at myself. How stupid was I. How incredibly foolish was I to think I would do fine without the Lord, that I could ever decide for myself what was good for me.

Well, I tried to decide for my own life, and I ended up in a hospital.

"Thank you," was all I could say in response, smiling in undeniable peace.

By 10 PM, I was allowed to get out of the hospital, with Grandpa Chuck and Meredith calling my parents in advance that they'd drive me home. The company Grandpa Chuck and Meredith give me was always exceptional. I found myself smiling all the way home.

Grandpa Chuck shared some medical jokes he had learned over the years:

"You must be aphasia, because you left me speechless."

"I think that you are really hip."

"Did you hear about the guy who lost his whole left side? His all right now."

"I tried playing hide and seek in the hospital, but they kept finding me in the ICU."

"Okay, that one wasn't very good," Grandpa Chuck admitted. Meredith and I howled in laughter. 

And we did so, until my house came into view and I reluctantly said good-bye to my two best friends.

But before that, Grandpa Chuck and Meredith had to escort me all the way to my room, with both my arms across their shoulders, holding me in place. When I sat down my bed, Grandpa Chuck kissed the top of my head and patted it gently.

"Make sure to listen to the Lord from now on," he said. "Consult Him daily through your devotions. Put Him first every day--first thing in the morning. That's how you get by with life in completeness in His presence and will."

"Amen," I said.

"I'll see you in our next and last lecture, Charlie," Meredith said, smiling. Her eyes gleamed in the lamplight. 

And I almost gasped. I realized everything now. I smiled in triumph.

The moment they left my room, I quickly pulled my Bible from the bedside table and leafed through it. There was one verse the Lord was prompting me, and I knew exactly what it was.

I stopped in the book of Philippians, chapter 3: But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ.  What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ.

I closed my eyes and felt like crying. These past few days, I was practically cursing God for taking everything I love. Little did I realize I only had to have what I truly loved--HIM. God. Jesus. Holy Spirit. All I really wanted was Him. And all these things happening was just to wake me up from the reality that nothing mattered anymore if they weren't in line with His purpose for me.

I closed my Bible and uttered a silent prayer of thanksgiving and gratitude to the Lover of my Soul.

I slept in complete peace that night. I now knew once again who I was and who I was doing this for. It didn't matter anymore how I was going to do things as long as I knew who I was doing these things for. And it didn't matter how much more I had to lose--in reality, I never really needed all those things. They were just things I thought were going to fill me all my life, but now I found an everlasting fountain here to satisfy me forever. And I didn't find it in some sport, or some person--

I found it in Christ.

And I'm here to stay.