There Must Be Something More

44 | There Is A Season

Calum slammed a hand on the top of my baseball locker and looked at me sternly. "Don't forget. Today's my mom's birthday. You and Amanda are invited, despite your current situation."

"Sorry," I said, wiping my face with my towel. I was drenched with sweat. I had changed into new clothes and slapped my locker door. "Happy birthday to your mom, but I have somewhere to be."

"What?" he said as I trotted away, "You need to be with your religious little friends?"

I ignored him and sprinted out of the lockers. I hoped I didn't look too excited, and then again I did. I really did want to see the new believers Meredith had helped out, it'd probably inspire me to evangelize people myself. It'd be amazing. Plus, I'd get to have new friends. 

I couldn't wait!

When I passed by a hallway mirror, I stopped and ran my hand through my hair, I didn't want to make a bad impression for my new friends. 

And then I felt a tug on my arm and saw Amanda glaring hard at me. I jerked away. I straightened my shirt and backed away a little. It was true that she and I had never ever fought before. We got along on almost everything. We were the dream brother and sister. We practically share the same kidney stone. 

But I also knew it that when Amanda was mad you didn't want anything to do with her. When her eyebrows meet and her mouth twists down into a scowl, you know she means business. And I knew at that moment what business this was about. It was about me and my faith. It was about me and Meredith and Samuel. It was about the new and real me.

"Sorry, Amanda," I said, shuffling away, "I still have somewhere to go to and--"

"Is that what it's going to be like now, Charlie?" she said, her eyebrows furrowed in a really disappointed mien. "You bailing out on your best friends, us fighting and never making up, you always running off to your new friends. Your new life."

"It is going to be that way, Amanda," I said. I didn't mean to sound cold or anything, I just wanted to tell her the truth, and if it sounds cold, then so be it. I looked her hard in the eye this time. No more pretending. No more running away from confrontation. No more fear of what other people might think. I care more about what God thinks of me. 

"Why?" she asked.

"Because believe it or not, the one you met before, that was not me," I said. "The one who always went out during weekdays and drinking and partying isn't me. I wasn't myself those times because I was blinded from the truth. I didn't know where to find myself and I thought I found them in those things. But honestly, deep down inside me before, Amanda, I didn't like myself. I did those things because I hated myself, I hated my life. I wanted to escape from the problems."

"So you didn't really like us because you weren't yourself when we became friends?" Amanda said. A tone of anger and hurt marked her voice, and I wished I weren't around to hear. I have never hurt someone this important to me before.

"No, I didn't really like you. Because that's a feeling--liking. Despite what I feel about you and Calum, despite what I feel about what you do and what you like, I still love you. Love is a choice. Just like what Jesus did for you and me. He didn't feel like being crucified. He didn't feel like dying for sins He never committed. But He chose to because He loves us. Love isn't a feeling. It's a choice. It's a part of you. I love you and Calum, Amanda. And I just wish you'd see the truth like I did."

Amanda just stared at me. And then she closed her eyes and shook her head sadly. "I'm so done with you, Charlie. Take you and your religion with you. I'm done."

I drew a breath. She walked away. I didn't wait. I sprinted towards our club room.

----------

When I came inside I expected four to five people. Meredith had made an impression that there might not be that many, but she was also implying there might be at least half of ten that might come. And so I expected that.

But what I saw inside our club room was not what I expected. At all.

The chairs were all set up for a real club meeting, alright. They were arranged in a circular manner, as if in a forum. And Meredith and Samuel sat on one of the chairs. 

But no one else was around.

Meredith, still in her grander look of ribbon pigtails and polka dot dress, sat with her head down and fingers closed around her knees. Even Samuel had his head between his folded arms. I watched them for seconds, and I finally had the guts to ask.

"Where is everybody?" I asked.

Meredith looked up, teary-eyed. "Here we all are."

"But... you said..." I glanced at the door. I waited. I looked back to Meredith and Samuel. "You said you got through to at least ten people."

"I also said real believers are the ones hungry for the truth," she said. "Or maybe it isn't just their time to come yet. I don't know."

"Maybe," I sat beside her. I rummaged through my backpack and wrote something on a piece of paper. I handed it to her.

She looked down at it and read aloud, "Ecclesiastes chapter three verse one: For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven."

"I forgot to give you this verse today," she said.

I shrugged. "You didn't have to. I slow down when I pass by the church every morning. And I knew it was God's Word for me today. They might not have come now, but God is faithful. Remember, it might be you who physically speaks those words, but it's the Holy Spirit who moves through. He's the One who'll touch their hearts. You're just the instrument. So don't worry. It's the Holy Spirit's job to worry."

She smiled. Then she boggled. "How do you know so much?"

"I read the Bible every night, you know," I said. "How bad do you think I am?"

She giggled. "Less now."

Samuel sighed. "Well, that makes me feel a whole lot better. Besides, this club's always going to be around. We just have to do our part by spreading God's love and Word and let the Holy Spirit take care of the rest. I don't think we have anything else to worry."

I shrugged. "Honestly, I'm still worried about actually going up to people."

"You'd be numb if you're not," Meredith said.

And then she smiled. "But we're God's followers. We don't live by feeling."