The Boy who Broke the Rules

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"That moment when you see your crush with someone else." -Tumblr

You're too pure for this șhit.

Too pure.

What the heck did that even mean?

Like a nun?

A baby?

A virgin?

Yeah, well, how did he know that? And since when being a virgin was bad?

I am a virgin and I am proud of it!

Yeah? Why don't you write a song about it?

Oh, shut it.

I rolled around in my bed, pushing the pillow in my face and screaming like a maniac.

What did he mean?

Does it matter? He doesn't want you. It's obvious, isn't it? He's beautiful. The most interesting boy you have ever met. He could have anyone he wants. What makes you think you have a chance with him? Just because he drew you once? Really, Parks? Your head is in the clouds again.

 I just wanted to give him those darn cookies. And how rude was he when he practically kicked me out of his house? I wanted to think that he was just ornery and rude, but why did I feel like he was protecting me from something?

Maybe there's something wrong with your brain...

So I stayed away.

Partly because I was hurt, too. I had no right to be hurt. The only relationship I had of him was the one going on in my head.

I had ignored him all week. And then another week. And another.

It was quite pathetic or staggering— I was not sure which one yet—how a single encounter with a boy could change my life. I thought I was happy. I was happy, but I didn't realize there was another level of happiness when someone that was unlike anyone you have ever met entered your life. Someone so exciting, so mysterious, so intriguing... that they made you feel alive.

And maybe sometimes I wished that I had never met him, because he had burst my safety bubble—the bubble where I was blissfully unaware of his unforgettable existence. The bubble where I frolic in flowers and dance with unicorns and everything was alright in my world. But he had burst it, and now I knew that outside the bubble there was something more.

But he didn't want anything to do with me.

So I ignored him as much as he ignored me. Well, I pretended to. It was harder than I thought it would be. Other than that morning that felt like a hundred years ago, I didn't walk with Noah again to school, even after classes. He never even went back to the clearing, not when I was there anyway. I wasn't sure if he was trying to avoid me or he had somewhere else to go to after class.

In class, we ignored each other. Sometimes I felt like he was looking at me, but whenever I checked, he was looking somewhere else.

At night, I lay in bed and would see his light only come on around midnight. He was always out really late. Maybe he had a job in the city.

Or maybe he has a girlfriend.

You'll be the girl who is forever alone. Not even in the friend zone. You're just one of the girls he sketched once.