"Let me safe you from your mind"
Days have passed and I find myself once again waking up in the cheap plastic chair next to my mother's bed. The chemicals never leave my nose and my back hurts from sitting so much. Mum still hasn't woken up and dad constantly gives me hints that I'd need to return to university if I still wanted to get my degree. I'm not sure how he manages to even think about stuff like this right now but he's probably right. I should go back to my normal life. I recall what he told me last night.
Going back to university doesn't mean you're giving up on her... You just need to get on with your life.
He's right but a part of me still doesn't want to leave mum for more than an hour. It's tough. She looks so fragile. So lonely.
I look up as I see dad standing in the doorway with two coffees in his hands. The cheap and watery liquid from one of the machines here in the hospital isn't the best but it's still better than nothing. He hands me one of the plastic cups and puts a hand on my shoulder.
"Don't you think you should go home for now? Maybe for a few days? You can get some sleep today and tomorrow and then go back to school on Monday? You can still visit after," his voice is soft and I know he's worried about me.
"Okay," I give in and dad looks surprised but then relaxes right after.
"Good," he smiles slightly and squeezes my shoulder reassuringly. "I'll call you immediately if there are any news."
After I say goodbye to mum I take a cab home to my apartment. It's Saturday and Evie and Holly are both home looking surprised as I enter.
"Mika! How are you feeling? How is your mum?" Holly rushes over and puts her arms around me, so tightly that I can barely breathe.
"Nothing new... It's getting better though," I lie biting my lip. "I'm going back to school on Monday."
"Really? That's great! You'll be there for the auditions for the film then," Evie explains excitedly and I try to send her a smile while she welcomes me back.
"Well, I'm going to lie down for a bit," I tell them shortly after and escape into my room.
I let myself fall onto my bed but can't seem to get any sleep. After some time, I rush into the bathroom and take a shower. These have become pretty rare for me the last few weeks and it feels good to wash away the hospital smell mixed with the sweat, anxiety and worry. But when I return to bed, I still can't find peace. Thoughts are running through my mind and it feels like I've lost all control over it. I lay there the whole day, slowly driving myself crazy.
When I look out the window again it's suddenly dark. I didn't even notice the sun setting. I was too busy with my thoughts and worries. The only thing I want right now is for them to stop. Stop terrorizing me so I can get some rest.
I get up, put on a tight mini dress and stuff all of my things into my purse. I need to distract myself. Then, I tiptoe through the living room to the door, careful that Holly and Evie don't hear me. I feel the cold doorknob in my hand as I open the door and step out. Very carefully, I close it behind me and hurry out of the building.
The cold winter air hits me and I realize I should've brought a jacket, but it's too late now. I managed to get outside without my friends noticing, so I might as well keep going now.
The coldness is biting on my skin as I impatiently wait for a cab to pull over. Finally, one does and I get in immediately feeling the warmth rush through me. I tell the driver the name of a club and he starts driving.
When we reach the location I was looking for, I pay and get out of the car. I wait in the queue in front of the club, my whole body covered with goosebumps from the cold. The wind runs through my hair and I start to shiver.
Eventually it's my turn and I slip inside. The loud music hits my ears and makes me want to turn around immediately, but I keep going. Several people are dancing in the middle of the club, others just making out in the corners. The neon lights are changing their directions every few seconds making me feel dizzy. I head straight for the bar.
"Can you get me.. uhm..," I have no idea what to get considering I don't usually drink much, "just something strong?"
The barkeeper nods and returns with a glass full of brown-ish liquid and I pay him. I take a sip and almost spit it out again. It's disgusting. But I keep drinking, feeling the alcohol burn my throat and clear my mind until the glass is empty. And the second one is empty. And the third. And forth. All empty. I keep drinking but stop counting. After some time, I have no idea how long it's been, I feel sick. Sick and tired and dizzy and... Where even am I?
I walk out into the cool night breeze, running into several people on my way. I look straight forward but everything seems like it's spinning around me. I begin to walk, or rather stumble into any direction. I don't know.
After what could've been seconds or hours the cold air seems to hit me again. The spinning becomes less, the sickness becomes worse, the thoughts come back. Dried tears that I didn't even notice stick to my hot cheeks and my dress clings to my sweaty body. I begin to shiver. It's cold. And I'm pathetic.
I take out my phone and feel a little less shitty because I can decipher the names on it again. I aim my finger at 'Holly Freeman' and press it or at least I think I do and wait for her to answer.
"Hello? Mika?" says a soft voice that I know isn't Holly's.
"Tom?" I ask confused. "I- uh- meant to call... Holly," I sob into the phone.
"Mika, it's okay... What's wrong?" he asks, worry and a little bit of relief tracing his voice.
"My life is shit... that's what's wrong! It doesn't... make any... fucking... sense anymore... How did... everything... fall apart... in so little time?" I start crying.
"Mika- shh... Listen to me- shh... Are you drunk? Where are you?"
"I don't... fucking... know!" I panic and my feet are giving up on me.
"I need to ask you something... Can you share your location with me, Mika? Can you do that for me?" his voice comforts me and my crying becomes less.
"I guess," I pull the phone away from my ear and concentrate on the words on it.
Everything is blurry from the tears or the alcohol, I don't really know anymore. Somehow I must've done the right thing because I hear Tom's reassuring words.
"Thank you, Mika... Stay where you are, okay?"
"Okay."
YOU ARE READING
Prohibited (Tom Felton)
Fanfiction"How can something that feels so right be so wrong?" Mika is just an ordinary girl with the dream of becoming an actress until her friends from acting school push her into downloading a dating app. It starts out as a joke to her with no real intenti...
