"They Used Me" TommyInnit Angst |

~~Chapter 8~~

Info: There is not shipping!
TW: Panic Attack, Passing Out

DISCLAIMER!
There is a part in this chapter that sounds like body shaming. I do not condone, or actively participate in body shaming!
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[Tommy POV]

I wake up in Wilbur's bed with my body pulled under the blank keeping the cold away.

"He really does care after all" I think to myself. A slight smile forms on my face, barley noticeable, but still a smile none the less.

"He's manipulating you, you are so easily fooled"

My head starts to spin and I feel dizzy and my eyes start to fog up. My head feels like it's being burned alive so I have to choice but to let the blur pull me in.

I start to fall back with my vision turning to black and white dots. At this point I'm unaware of anything that my body is doing. I fall backwards and land on Wilbur's chest. I can feel movement and soft voices calling out my name. I try to move but my body isn't letting me. I start to panic, I have no control over my body, I can't move, and I can barley see anything, its all just blurring. A small ring starts to form in my ear. I fall into a deep panic.

"..mm.."
"T.mm.."
"Tomm.."
"Tommy."

"TOMMY!"

I pull myself out of my state of panic to see Wilbur looking down at me. I prepare myself to get berated with guilting comments like I scared him or so, but he doesn't to it.

He just looks at me and smiles.

"Thank goodness your ok..."

"That's it?"

"What do you mean Tommy"

"Why didn't you say something guilting me like you were scared?"

"..."
"Tommy I would never do that...."

The things that he says he would never do are always the things my parents would do. Why can't I know what's right from wrong. My thoughts get to my mouth and starts a rant I shouldn't have said out loud.

"ALL THESE THINGS THAT MY PARENTS DID BUT YOU DIDN'T IS FUCKING HURTING! AM I NORMAL? WHAT IS RIGHT FROM WRONG? I CANT STAND THIS!"

Wilbur is just there starstruck, wondering what just happened. Me on the other hand slowly shrank back into the shell I had worked so hard getting out of.

"He's going to hate me"

"He's going to kick me out"

"He's going to-"

I feel a hand on my back rubbing in the motion of the circle. This used to help me as a kid but it still helps me, but no one has even been there for me. I take a deep breath to help me calm down, but before I can say anything Wilbur's voice interrupts my train of thoughts.

"You ok now?"

I nod to him letting him know I feel better now"

He puts on a smile and gets out of bed. He leaves the room and motions for me to follow him down the hallway, he leads me to the kitchen and motions for me to sit down while he prepares some food.