Shimmy

Shimmy- Chapter Four

Chapter Four 

Nicholas 

"Nick, darling!  I'm so glad you're here.  Come and give your mother a big hug, sweetheart!"  My mother strides toward me wearing a warm smile.  It's good to see her again, but I still feel conflicted about coming home after all these years.  It's been five years since I decided to leave and never come back.

The last time we met was for Christmas last year.  Undeniably, Camilla Russell is a beautiful woman.  She has a magnetic presence that summons everyone around her.  Long dark hair, sun kissed skin, long dark lashes and green eyes resembling two exquisite emeralds.  Lovely and graceful, she is one of the most gracious women I've ever met. 

Her cheerfulness is contagious.  I genuinely smile back at her.  She seems happy.  God, it's so good to see her happy. 

"Did you miss me, mom?  I didn't miss you at all!"  I smirk at her as she swats my arm and giggles at my brazen remarks.

We always have had a good relationship.  We know each other well.  I know everything that makes her feel utterly joyous, but I also happen to know the story behind everything that had made her utterly mournful.  I've seen her at her better and her worse.  Her light and her darkness.  All of it courtesy of my father.

Thankfully, Mr. Russell is behaving like the perfect husband I perfectly know he's not.  Seems like he hasn't sidetracked again.  He better keeps his promise to me, especially now that I'm back.  I won't tolerate any shit from him. 

 "Rosa made your favorite dinner.   Oh, Nick ... I've missed you so much. You'll stay for dinner, right?"  She cups my cheek tenderly and memories of my childhood emerge in a heartbeat. Her eyes are hopeful, dancing with the same emotion I saw when I was a kid. A fierce and unconditional love. I gaze at those beautiful emerald eyes, and notice she's holding back tears. But this time, I don't see any trace of sadness or despair.  I nod in approval and kiss both of her cheeks.

     "Are you bribing me, Mrs. Russell?  My company in exchange of the most delectable cuisine in all Miami?  Is that all I'm worth for you?"  I chuckle, narrowing my eyes at her.

     "Nonsense! I'm so happy you're home, darling!  My prodigal son has returned after five years of absence and I want to spend a nice evening with him.  You can't blame me for trying.  Will you please me and stay for dinner?"

I'm still gazing warmly at her when I seize a sudden change in the air.  Her gaze drops and I feel her distress.  I knew this was coming.  I should've been prepared, but I'm not.  I know exactly what's on her mind and what her next words will be.  She's been asking the same question for years.    

"Darling, will you ever be honest with me and tell me what has kept you away from us this long?  I never understood your hesitation of coming back home.

"You didn't even come once in five years, Nick.  I begged you to come visit, but you didn't ... I know it's not the best timing to ask you.  Perhaps I should wait now that I know that you'll be here for a while, but honey, I can't.  I can't because I keep asking myself the same question every single day. I can't stop  feeling guilty. Is it because of my lack of judgment that night?  Am I to blame for your absence, sweetheart?"

She holds my stare waiting for an answer.  Fuck, I really didn't want to think or talk about this shit right now.  But I don't want her to feel guilty or to see pain in her eyes again.  Never. Just when I'm trying to gather my thoughts to say something, she starts talking again. And in that moment, I realize that I need to let her speak. This is hurting her. I need to let her finish and let her take this out of her system.