Musical One-Shots and Headcanons! (REQUESTS OPEN!)

Bandtrees/Zoevan - Forgiveness

A/N: This occurs during early spring after the end of Dear Evan Hansen.

CW: non-graphic depiction of a car accident, major character death

It was a beautiful spring day. Birds sang, butterflies fluttered around, the sun shone bright, and a brisk breeze swept through the trees. Cynthia Murphy decided to go for a walk.

"Out for a walk," she texted, reading each word as she typed it. "Be back soon. And send!" Her phone pinged. Zoop! Delivered.

She walked at a leisurely pace, taking in the view, and always being on the lookout for cars. She loved the way nature surrounded her on this particular day. Calm, but maybe too calm. That didn't bother her, though. She felt great. Suddenly, a car zoomed from behind her, time stopped, then the world was a black, blank, still void.

Zoe knew that when her mother went on a walk, it was usually a fifteen-to-twenty-minute thing. It was twenty-five minutes and she still wasn't home. Zoe shrugged. Perhaps she's just appreciating the scenery a little longer than usual, she reasoned. She'd text if something was wrong. Don't worry, Zoe. She's fine.

Thirty minutes went by and Cynthia still wasn't home. "Go bring your phone, Zoe," Larry told her, worry in his eyes, "and trace your mother's usual walking path. Hurry! There is no time to waste."

Zoe did as her father said. After running past the fountain, the field, and the donut shop, it was there she found her mother lying on the ground immobile. With trembling hands, she pressed the "Emergency" button on her phone.

"Hello. My name is Zoe Murphy, and I--I--I'm sorry. I'm Zoe Murphy, and my mom's been out on a walk. She's lying motionless on the pavement. I think she might have passed out or something..."

Please, be okay.

Please, be okay!

The trip to the hospital was a blur. Zoe could only remember wailing along with the sirens, and the noises in her head could not be quieted.

Cynthia finally woke up, but the doctors said she wouldn't make it.

"Remember when Connor was mad at you and started shaking your calculator? Remember how it fell, and the inside screen cracked against the one on the outside? That's pretty much what happened here; they say my organs got slammed and damaged when I fell."

Hot tears poured down Zoe's face. "No...no!"

"Unfortunately, yes, baby, yes. But I want you to promise me this, okay?"

Zoe nodded.

"You and Dad will move on for me. Don't waste too much time on tears, alright? Larry, when you're ready, find someone else who will make you happy as I did, someone who will raise Zoe well in my absence. And..."

"Yes?"

"Remind Evan he's been forgiven, and invite him to my funeral."

The way she said that completely broke Zoe, and she ran out of the room, unable to handle it. She stood outside the door and cried even harder, immediately regretting her decision as she heard the faint continuous beep in the distance. More tears flood her eyes, causing her to sob even harder. She rushes in, staring at the lifeless body that strangled one last word, "forgivene-"  Zoe holds on to her mother's hand, grasping the reality that she's gone. She screams in agony, and as her father puts a gentle hand on her shoulder, she twists out of his grip, growing louder and louder. She hides her face in her hands, hoping she can avoid seeing what's really there. "Let's go home," he tells her softly. He leads her away, but it feels more as though he's dragging her as she resists, trying to stay a little longer, kicking and squalling and pitching a fit. 

A grief-stricken Zoe makes her way back home, and the birds that used to chirp, the sun that used to shine, all of it seemed dull and lifeless and empty. The cars passed by one last time. Oh, the immeasurable pain they brought. Why must this happen to me?  she thought. Now she was faced with the duty of breaking the news.

Days passed before the funeral, and it was creeping closer each day. Zoe paced back and forth across her room. The black outfit she wore was a mere expression of the pain she felt, but she knew that she would have to move on soon in honor of Cynthia's request.  "Are you okay?" Her dad stood at the door, and she rushed to him, crying into his chest as he comforted her. It seemed as though she did that often these days.

 "Yes." She spoke softly, but she forgot something. "The funeral is in a few days, correct?" she asked tentatively, almost as if she could avoid facing it. She looked up at her dad, who nodded sadly.

Staring at the door that she hasn't been in front of for a long, long time, Zoe knocks once. Then twice. Evan opens the door, looking as awkward as ever, and quickly notices the tearful girl standing in front of him. She began to speak. "My mother, as you know, sh-she passed on a few days ago due to the car accident. You're invited to the f-funeral." She shuddered at that word and broke down in violent sobs. 

The shocking realization that she was gone finally registered in his mind. Evan, looking awfully surprised, wondered why he would even be invited to the funeral, was it her will, could it be? He was forgiven? After all the lies? How?  

Evan wrapped Zoe in his arms, rubbing her back in circles as she whimpered quietly. He tilted forward, then backward, pulling her with him, and she felt safe from her own mind in the first time in days. 

"I'll be there for you if you need me. You are not alone," he finally said, his eyes focused on hers, which were still damp with tears and rimmed red and puffy. She knew that at least she'd have someone to talk to, and she was happy she did what her mother wanted--what she wanted. Zoe smiled feebly, glad that someone was there to help her rebuild from the ruins.

A/N: Ellie here, testifying that just today (3/5/21), I broke my calculator exactly like that and used it as a metaphor. I'm the only person who can do that, I guess.