Musical One-Shots and Headcanons! (REQUESTS OPEN!)

Hamliza- Not Enough (College AU)

This is probably one of our darkest yet. CW for eating disorder, self-loathing, mentions of cutting.

This is disgusting. Look at me, an absolutely repulsive figure. My goal was to become 90 pounds in a week and I still look the same. It wasn't a good idea to eat that yogurt for breakfast. I had to. They were all looking at me as if I were a zoo animal about to attack its prey. It wasn't worth it at all. I feel absolutely appalling. Pulchritudinous--if this is a word describing such beauty, it would not describe me. I stood over the toilet, taking my fingers and reaching into my throat.

I continued with my day like normal. I attended my first class, music theory. Today we studied notion and had to complete an assignment on it. My head started pounding, but of course, I ignored it. It's probably just a migraine--I received several of these pounding sensations. Angelica suggested I go see a doctor. I politely declined. There's nothing wrong with me. Headaches are common, after all, as are stomachaches. I put my head on the desk for quick relief and dozed off into a light sleep.

I woke up to a slap on the desk. "Ms. Schuyler, call me a bore, but I don't believe you should be taking naps in my class. Is it boring to you? I didn't ask you to participate in this major, now did I?" I shook my head no, which was a terrible I do.

"I'm sorry, professor. I don't know what happened. Please don't fail me!" An eruption of laughter surrounds me. I guess they never grew out of their high school immaturity.

"This is not your first time. I'm afraid this will affect your conduct grade."

I walk out of class, unable to bear drawing any more attention to myself. Everyone is looking at me. Their eyes—judging my every move, observing how fat I am. I know it looks like I'm overreacting, but I swear I hear their whispers. Or maybe it was a phantasm. All in my head. I know my mind would not deceive me. Would it? Not for this.

I open my dorm room door and curl up into a ball. I hear myself breathing, and my whole body feels exhausted. I can't even begin to think of the consequences I would get for walking out of class. I work hard to remain a straight-A student, but I can't even accomplish that. I hear a knock on my door. It must be my roommate, Maria. I don't open the door. It's her room, too, but I need to be alone.

"Eliza, I know you're in there! I need to grab my textbooks."

I get up reluctantly to grab her textbooks and open the door. "Here you go. Now you can go to class," I say in the tersest manner possible. Obviously, she was offended by my quickness to throw her out. and she walked right past me. "Do you understand that we both paid to be here? Whether it was our parents or a scholarship, that took hard work. I don't think that pushing me out is an option. Is there a rule I don't know about? What the heck is wrong with you?!" Her words stung like a wasp, and I started to cry.

"No, you're right," I respond as I wipe the tears that were sliding down my face. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." I don't know why I was crying--she hadn't insulted me or anything. Maybe it was all the shame I had. My cry turned into a full-on sob. I don't think I've cried harder in my life.

"What's wrong with you? What's the matter? What did I say? Eliza, please stop crying. Oh, shoot, I'm not good with emotions, I'm gonna take you to someone who can help you, okay?" I refused, but Maria's grip is stronger than mine, and she got a hold of me. "No, you don't get a choice. You're my friend and I'm not gonna leave you here like this. I don't know why you're crying or what's going on with you." I managed to break loose and choke out a few words.

"You can't take me anywhere! I need to be alone! Nobody can see me, please." I gasped and struggled for air. Maria rolled her eyes.

"What do you mean, nobody can see you? What'd you do, kill someone?" Maria gave up and sat down with me. "Could you at least help me understand? I respect your privacy, I really do, but—never mind." She pulled out her phone.