Musical One-Shots and Headcanons! (REQUESTS OPEN!)

Burrdosia - Not The Worst (Modern AU)

A/N: Ellie here, inspired by a meme I'll link to in the comments: https://www.wattpad.com/1036937642-hamilton-photos-52

Blame Isa for spinning stories out of anything and everything.

Also, I've gone crazy if I've slowly turned Burr into Zoe Murphy when that isn't my actual interpretation of him...

Our partnership?

Burr, you disgust me.

Close the door on your way out.

I have some friends: Laurens, Mulligan, Marquis de Lafayette, okay, what else?

You are the worst, Burr.

I AM NOT AS FINE AS I SEEM! How often must I suffer through the agony of words like this, deluges of hate, pounding at my roof until they enter the house and destroy whole rooms?

Think clearly, clearly now. Clearly!

I give up. Where is the point in pretending that I am okay? All this time spent smiling more was only to hide the pain lying underneath. And now everything is leaking out through little cracks in my wall of cheerfulness. Leaking out through soft tears.

I press my back against the bathroom door to form what I hope makes an effective barricade. I can't let Theo see me like this, a despondent wreck crumpled into a little ball on the floor.

Try. Try to quell all this pounding and shouting in your head.

But it's getting harder--

Knock.

Leave.

Knock.

Leave!

Knock.

LEAVE!

"Aaron? Open the door, please! And don't tell me you locked it; I can turn the handle!"

"The lock is broken," I say quickly, trying to sound as normal as I can, "so I barricaded the door, Theo. There's nothing more to it." I should not have said that last part. My wife knows me well enough to know that whenever I talk too much, something's either gone horribly wrong or wonderfully right.

"What do you have in there that could make a decent barricade, other than yourself? Open the door, Aaron!"

Reluctantly, I stand up, open the door, and crouch behind it.

"So what were you doing in here? Why are you hiding?"

No answer. Just me shuddering in the space between the wide-open door and the wall.

"Are you okay?"

Still no answer.

"Come out from there," she coaxes. I move towards her ever so slowly, shutting my eyes when I reach her.

"What's going on?" she asks, her voice calm and dulcet. She already saw me. There isn't any point in lying anymore.

"There's no denying, I'm just--" My just dissolves into a sob itself. I can't finish the sentence. She knows what I have to say, anyway.

"What were they saying?"

"They called me a 'human disaster,' refused to acknowledge my friendship with them, won't let me know what they're doing, and generally think I'm the worst!"

"You are not the worst. Why would I have married you if you were?" She holds me as though I were a lost puppy she had found in the rain, shivering and frightened. I remain as still as I can, then continue.

"And I keep on pretending I'm okay, but I'm not! It bothers me, but nobody sees. Eventually...they say it until...I start to believe it, too..."

"Let me say it again." And she whispers in my ear about how she loves me beyond words, about how it's okay if I'm not okay, about how she isn't going anywhere, and oh, my, how I love her, too. I'm grateful to have someone like her, someone who calms the storms.