Musical One-Shots and Headcanons! (REQUESTS OPEN!)

Jeggy - Drivers License (Modern AU)

A/N: We made slight lyric changes to reflect the situation, and we are obviously using the radio edit. In the context of the story, though, Peggy changed the lyrics herself, so it fits. 

Mentions of Laurgelica.

Peggy was singing in her locked room. "I got my driver's license last week just like we always talked about, 'cause you were so excited for me to finally drive up to your house, but today I drove through the suburbs crying 'cause you weren't around." That was true. In fact, she had been crying so hard that Eliza, who was sitting beside her, had to take the wheel herself. She continued singing but changed the lyrics.

"And I know you're with my sister. She always made me doubt." For a time, she had believed she'd faded away, but John had changed that for her. No longer feeling in her sisters' shadows, she stopped cutting and felt happier. Now, it seemed, she was back to square one. The day he moved out and prepared to move in with Angie, she had fallen back into cutting. Peggy would never admit it, though--she didn't want to look petty like she was harming herself over a boy. That would be stupid.

"She's just a bit older than me, she's everything I'm insecure about." Angelica may have only been two years older than her, but Peggy had once believed that she was perfect. The girl she had looked up to now stood on a broken pedestal, and Peggy could barely stand to look her straight in the eye.

"Oh, today I drove through the suburbs, 'cause how could I ever love someone else? And I know we weren't perfect, but I've never felt this way for no one." After all this, he still meant everything to her. Peggy was far angrier at Angelica than at John. She had become conditioned to accept being generally less than.

"And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone!" She was just plain sad that she would never be enough. He certainly wasn't missing her if he could just up and leave like that. She stared around at her room, which was full of the boxes she picked up from his house, the boxes she would wait another day to unpack because once she was through, she'd be left with just one thing to do: remember.

"Guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me, 'cause you said forever..."

I see only us for forever...

He wasn't that good of a songwriter, but he had tried his best to write that for her. Now she could hardly stay composed when she listened to "Only Us" and "For Forever." All the words were empty reminders of broken promises.

"Now I drive alone past your street."

That street--it hurt too much to say that it was where John lived--was the exact point that Eliza had taken the wheel. Peggy felt as though she had given up letting her take it. This was the time when she should feel freer. Instead, she was restricted by memories.

"And all my friends are tired of hearing how much I miss you."

She didn't have many friends, but the few people who were close to her, she felt, could never understand what she was going through. "You'll find someone else," they told her with a lack of sympathy. 

"But I kinda feel sorry for them, 'cause they never knew you the way that I do. Yeah, today I drove through the suburbs and pictured I was driving home to you."

Picturing an unproblematic life where she could run in his arms. It was all make-believe, a lie. How could she have thought that he was here to stay? The signs were there. It was almost like he gave her a two-week notice that their relationship would soon be over. She didn't need to say a word--she knew it in her heart. The silence spoke louder than words. 

"And I know we weren't perfect, but I've never felt this way for no one, oh... And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone. I guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me! 'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street."

Singing that chorus again sparked anger in her. She clenched her fists and her anger soon dissolved into sorrow, like salt dissolving into water. Salty tears slid against her face like the bitterness of heartbreak. 

"Red lights, stop signs..."

She had seen the red flags but ignored them, hoping it was one of her mind's illusions. If this could only have been prevented, things would be a lot easier. A broken doorknob forcing her to remain stuck, a barrier preventing her from going forward. 

"I still see your face in the white cars, front lawns, can't drive past the places we used to go to. Cause you know I still love you, babe."

The places where her happiest memories were are now a painful reminder of what used to be there.

"Sidewalks we crossed, I still hear your voice in the traffic, we're laughing over all the noise."

Memories flood in and the tears blurred her vision. 

"Oh, I'm so blue now we're through, 'cause you know I still love you, babe."

It's not easy to let go of what used to be dear to you.

"I know we weren't perfect, but I've never felt this way for no one, and I just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone."

You moved on like I never mattered. You had to have something better. Was I not enough for you?

"Guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me." She went down on that
"wrote," finding it fitting that it went down rather than up, as though that one note encapsulated her betrayal. " 'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street."

Peggy got up and wiped the tears off her face. She was ready to start again. She knew she deserved better. Or maybe he just wanted better. She finished up the lyrics.

"Yeah, you said forever, now I drive alone past your street."