His Words (bxb)

chapter nine

Monday, September 21, 2020

✧noah✧

"Up until I was seven years old, I thought my parents were the best people in the world. Perfect human beings. They loved our family so much. I don't remember a single weekend when we didn't go out to do something as a family. And if we didn't go out, we sat at home and watched a movie till I was sure there wasn't a single animation movie I haven't watched with them."

I couldn't bear to look at Elijah. The story hasn't gotten to the bits that are hard to tell yet, but I know that when it does, I really don't want to see the look in his face.

"Um, my mom and dad actually met when my mom was in high school and my dad was in college. They dated for a while, and then my mom found out she was pregnant. At 19. My grandparents are quite religious and ended up kicking her out. I imagine it was hard for her. I imagine she really hated me for existing back then..."

Elijah grabs my hands and I notice that I was hurting myself again without even knowing it. He runs his fingers over my bandaged knuckles as I continue, still not meeting his gaze.

"But yea... I was eight years old when they first started arguing. Like, all the time. It was constant, but at first it wasn't dangerous. Just unhealthy. I usually just shut myself in the room and played on my Switch till it was over and my mom would come up and apologize and make sure I was okay." I smile at the memory, taking a deep breath before telling the next bit.

"Then it started getting violent. I was around nine or ten. Like verbally, emotionally, mentally and physically abusive. That's when I started to see my father in a different light, but my mother never changed in my eyes. He would-" My voice cracks and I clear my throat. "He would- umm..."

"Noah, it's okay. I don't need to know the details that bother you. If you'd rather just forget, then forget. And don't tell me anything that you don't want to, hmm?" Elijah bends down to peek at my face, still looking down at my lap. I give him a small smile and a nod, sniffling a little before continuing.

"It just got really bad. I was scared all the time. I couldn't play on my Switch anymore while they argued because I'd have to be just around the corner from where my parents were to make sure they don't end up killing each other. I was nine. That is so messed up for a nine-year-old to have to go through." I try to stay strong, but end up tearing up anyways.

"It went on like that for almost two years. I don't know how my mom survived. She had to quit her job so people don't notice the... the bruises. I would come home from school everyday and find her drunk out of her mind, run up to my room, have a few hours of peace before my dad comes home and then the entire house erupts in chaos. I got used to the routine."

Then one day, I came home and my mom wasn't drunk. She wasn't in her usual sour mood. She was dressed nicely and asked me to go up to my room to get changed. She said she was taking me somewhere and I just remember thinking we were gonna run away. What child has that kind of thought process?"

We went to a diner and she let me order whatever I wanted, then we went to the mall and I bought a bunch of clothes and toys and basically anything I wanted. She seemed to have a sad smile the entire time, but little ten-year-old Noah was too absorbed in all his new shit to think of what that might mean... Then, we walked into a jewellery store and my mom bought me a little necklace." My hand subconsciously goes up to touch the necklace around my neck.

"She said that the little locket will lock her memories of me forever, so that she'll never forget me. I remember it was the best day I had in a very long time. Life had gotten really complicated really fast and that day just seemed like we went back in time to when we were happy people in a happy family. God, I should have known..."