His Words (bxb)

chapter thirty-seven

Monday, December 21, 2020

✧noah✧

School was a mess.

Here's one thing you learn from four years of high school - drama is a five-course meal and the children are hungry. News spreads like wildfire and by Monday morning, it seemed like everyone knew that Noah Cohen, the fairy with daddy issues, was bending over for Elijah Beckett, the rapist with a dirty past.

Hundreds of eyes burned my skin, piercing through the fabric of my cotton hoodie as I walked the crowded corridors to English class. It made me feel naked, vulnerable; I didn't like it one bit.

Keep your eyes down and don't look at them. At least you don't have it as bad as Elijah, I tell myself selfishly.

I truly don't, though. Sure, people knowing one of my dirtiest secrets is absolutely terrible, but I'm seen as the victim in the situation whereas Elijah is seen as a violent rapist, a manipulator and an abuser. I get looks of pity whereas Elijah is faced with death threats and disgusted faces.

I think I should just stop thinking about him.

I haven't spoken to him yet. Not that he's tried to contact me since yesterday. I don't know how to feel about all this. Honestly, I don't think I'm feeling at all right now and we have trauma to thank for that. I should probably try holding some ice cubes in my hands again when I get home.

Of course, my thoughts always circle back to Elijah Beckett.

Mason stayed by my side all day since he already knew what had been revealed to everyone overnight. At first, he kept talking about how he 'had a bad feeling about him since Gus' party' and how I should have 'let him approve Elijah before we got too serious', but upon seeing my hesitance to speak on those topics, he let it go and focused on being as supportive as possible all day.

How the hell did I even function without friends before meeting Elijah?

Elijah.

As I lie back on my bed, the tears tickling my ears and sending shivers down my spine as I scroll through more and more comments, I think of what Elijah might be doing this very moment.

✧elijah✧

I'm just about done with the judgement from people who don't know shit about what truly happened.

As you can imagine, the tale was completely twisted by the end of the day and by Monday afternoon, it was that I had taken advantage of Noah's physical and emotional vulnerability after being beaten by his father and forced myself on him. Allegedly.

I pushed through seven hours of school with the idea that I'll be in the privacy of my own home by the end of it keeping me going. Then, I remembered I had swim training after school and, immediately, breathing got ten times harder.

I scroll through angry DMs as I am sat on the bus on the way to the pool.

Shame on you, faggot.

People like you should just die.

It's people like you who give the LGBT community a bad name.

Fuck you.

I don't feel safe because of men like you.

🤬🖕🏼🖕🏼💩💩💩🤡🤡🤬🤬🤬💩💩

Go trip over a knife.

Watch your back, fairy.

There is no place in society for you.