His Words (bxb)

chapter nineteen

Tuesday, October 6, 2020

✧elijah✧

My breath gets more erratic as we near Noah's room in the psych ward of the hospital. My hands are moist with sweat as I grip the bouquet tightly. Suddenly, my mom stops in front of a door with the number 271 on it. This is it.

The vacant hallway falls completely silent, the sound of my heart beating echoing loudly against its walls. After a moment, the tension is unbearable and I finally voice my concerns to my mom. "What if he doesn't want me here? What if I'm only gonna make him worse? And he's been doing so well, I would hate to be the responsible for making him have to start all over again."

My mom only nods her head understandingly and gives me a warm smile. "It's okay to feel these things, Lij, but you have to understand they're not true. I've spoken to Dr. Evans and Dr. Willow about this already and they think this will be amazing for him. I think this'll do you both some good." She places her hand on my shoulder reassuringly before continuing. "No matter what happens in this room, just remember what you're fighting for. And who you're fighting because it's certainly not each other. Try to understand where his insecurities come from and don't make him feel bad for having them. And if things do go poorly... well, at least you got got closure," she adds with a tight-lipped smile. 

I nod my head slowly as Mom pulls me into a hug. She lets go after a moment and says, "Now go get your man!" The comment does not help slow down my fast heart rate as I place one hand on the knob and lift the other to knock on the door. A moment later, I hear a voice allowing me in, so I take a deep breath in and twist the cold door knob, stepping inside Room 271.

The first thing I see is Noah sat on a bed in the centre of the room. He must have been reading a book before we came in, because he holds one now in his hands that don't seem as bony as they were two weeks ago. There are no faint lines of blue and purple veins on them either. His nails look long and healthy and his skin is no longer a constant sickly complexion.

I finally find the courage to look up at his face. Noah was always the most beautiful angel in my eyes, but good health has intensified that by tenfold. His cheeks are no longer hollow and bony, but they are full and slightly rosy. His skin is almost glowing under the warm sunlight. His lips are even more plump and red than the usual. God, I can't wait to kiss those lips. To pinch his rosy cheeks. To hold his face in my hands again. Finally, I look into his eyes. Bright blue eyes that carry the depth of the deepest oceans hide behind his long, blonde lashes. I have drowned in these oceans so many times.

Then, I notice his features change. His brows furrow as the corners of his mouth turn downwards in a frown. His eyes stare right back at mine with a hostile look in them.

I must have been standing there, frozen like a fool, for too long because Mom steps into the room after me. "Hello, Noah! Gosh, it's so nice to see you again, sweetheart. You look so healthy! How have you been doing?"

I watch as Noah loses the irritated look in his eyes as he turns to my mother, who is smiling brightly at him. He smiles back before replying, "Hi, Amelie. It's great to see you, too. I really did miss you. I've been doing great - better than I have been for a very long time actually. What about you?"

Mom shrugs before answering, "The usual. We've been really worried about you, though. We're glad to see you're doing okay, but you must have felt lonely all this time. We are so sorry for not visiting sooner."

Noah just shrugs his shoulders. "It's not too bad. I have these lovely nurses keeping me company 24/7," he says while nodding his head to the left. When we turn to the direction he nodded in, we see a small lady in nurse scrubs sat in the armchair in the corner of the room. She seems to have a permanent scowl on her face as she glares intensely at Mom and I, but doesn't say a word.