Newtmas oneshots (english)

losing him (part 2)

Thomas' pov
The walls are about to close. All gladers are standing in front of the entrance of the maze, unpatiently waiting for our leader and the keeper of the runners to return.

I know that Alby and Minho can do it. They have to.

Suddenly I feel someone intertwining their fingers with mine. I look to my right and I see Newt.

His brown eyes are focused on the maze. I see that he is chewing on his bottom lip. He must be nervous too.

When Newt notices me staring at him, he looks as confused as I am. Why did he take my hand? Is it because he is scared? Does he like me back? No. That is impossible.

"Sorry." He mumbles while pulling his hand out of my grasp.

My hand feels empty and cold without his touching it. I can't help but feel a bit sad. Should I just take his hand back?

"No. It's okay." He smiles and grabs my hand again. The warmth is immediatey back inside me.

With Newt by my side I feel unstoppable. He gives me the feeling of safety.

He looks cute when he blushes.

I see something from the corner of my eyes. When I turn my gaze inside the maze again, I see two figures at the end of the hallway.

"Look!" I shout and point into the maze. I don't let go of Newts hand. I need him. This is all too much for me.

I can't loose Minho. And thats selfish because Minho is Newts best friend and not mine. And there would be so much pressure on Newt, if Alby dies because he would be the next leader.

"Minho! Come on! You can do it!" I hear Newt shout next to me. That snaps me out of my thoughts again.

I hear the doors, which are starting to close. They can do it. I know they can.

I hear heavy breaths next to me. The blonde must be panicking. I have to help him. I have to stay inside the maze with Minho and Alby to help them. For Newt.

I take a step forward into the maze.

"No! Tommy!" Newts scream breaks my heart. But I'm doing it for him. I'll be back tomorrow.

I feel the doors coming closer, pressing my body against each other. Will I even make it through the doors? Fear comes over me.

In the next second I fall onto the ground. I made it. I'm trapped inside the maze.

My body starts shaking at this thought. It scares me but I picture Newt inside my head and I know that it's worth it. I'm doing this for him.

"Thomas? What are you doing here?" Minho frowns in confusion.

"What happened to him?" I ignore his question and point to Alby instead, who is laying on the floor next to us.

"What does it look like? The Grievers-"
He stops and looks to the floor.

He doesn't have to say anything elese though. I know what happened.

"We have to help Alby." I say, walking towards his unconscious body.

We are carrying our leader through a gigantic maze with no destination.

You are doing it for Newt. I remind myself of the beautiful blonde, I fell for.

My heart seems to stop beating at the thought of Newt. I love him and I will do anything for him but will I really manage to get his best friends out of here alive?

After we tied Alby with ivy onto one of the walls, I heard them. The Grievers.

Panic rises inside of me, sweat is dripping from my forehead, despite the cold wind that blows in the stone corridors.

Then, everything goes silent. I notice that Minho isn't with me anymore and that doesn't help the anxious feeling in my stomach.

I turn around, just to see a Griever staring at me, waiting for me to move, so it can haunt me to death.

My breathing gets heavy and I am frozen in place.

Newt will never know. He will never know how I feel about him. He will never know that I love him. I will die and he will never know that I always wanted to be more to him. He will never know, that I feel calm and safe around him. He will never know, that he is my safe haven in times of trouble.

The Griever starts moving, which brings me back to reality. I turn around and start running.

I don't look back but I know that the Griever is right behind me. I hear its metalic legs hitting the floor everytime it takes a step closer to me.

I turn around a corner, when I bump into someone. Minho is there, running for his life as well.

I look to my right. Could I possibly hide under the ivy?

Minho seems to have the same idea because we let ourselves  fall to the ground at the same time. I press my back against the cold stone behind me.

This is how I spent the rest of the night. We both don't dare to say anything but we can see each other. Minho looks frightened and so do I.

When the sun rises, we slowly get up.

"Let's get Alby." I agree. We both don't say anything else until we are close to the glade.

"You have to tell him." Minho suddenly says.

"Wh-what?" I stutter. I was thinking about Newt the whole way back to the glade but could Minho mean him?

"It's pretty obvious. You like him. You nearly died last night. If you don't tell him, I will." He has a serious expression.

"I don't know how. Newt is such a sweet and loving person but all I do is causing trouble." I admit.

"I'm sure he likes you back. Don't you see how he looks at you?"

Maybe Minho is right. It is worth a try.

"I will tell him as soon as we are back at the glade." I say.

My heart starts pounding faster and my fingers start shaking. I'm nervous. What if he really doesn't love me?

We turn around the last corner, that is seperating us from the other gladers.

"Tommy!" I hear a voice say and I see tears streaming down Newts cheeks as I look at him. 

"You... h-how? He seems to be confused.

I can't resist the urge to hug him any longer.

I pull him closer to me. Warmth spreads across the parts of my body that touch his immediately.

"You are alive." He says barely above a whisper.

"Yes. I am alive. For you."

"What? What does that mean? For me?"

I just didn't give up because I knew you were in here, waiting for me." I admit. And it's true. I am alive for him, for the love of my life.

Slowly we lean forward until our lips touch. It's feather like at first but now I can feel all of his emotions.

I feel sadness, relief but also ... love.

He pulls away and looks into my eyes.

I have to tell him. I have to.

"Did I ever tell you that I love you?" He blushes at my question. I'm still nervous.

"No, you idiot." He replies.

"Well, I do." He can't even imagine how much I love him.

"Really?"

"Of course I do." How couldn't I?

"I love you too, Tommy."

My heart starts to tingle at his words. I kiss him again, but this time with so much passion, that I assume, he will never doubt my love towards him.