Newtmas oneshots (english)

I'm not her

Newt and Thomas are sitting at the beach of the safe haven, neither of them saying a word. The silence is very loud, it almost feels like a swarm of bees is flying around his head, dirsturbing the peaceful moment. At least for Newt, who can't stop thinking about Thomas.

He knows, that he doesn't just like the other boy, he loves him. He saved his life by literally being the cure to the biggest problem in his life- the flare. But he also knows something, that he does not want to be true, that breaks his heart.

"You're thinking about her.", Newt whispers. He is looking at the clear, blue water in front of them. They're watching the sun disappear behind the horizon, causing the water to sparkle in beautiful orange and golden colours.

"Yes.", Thomas answers, his eyes still watching the calm waves of the sea. Thomas' answer makes Newts sadness grow into a big, deep abyss that he threatens to get lost in. Why can't he be a bit more like her? Why can't he be the one Thomas is thinking about?

The blonde boy notices Thomas' gaze on him. Since Teresas death, which is only a few weeks ago, Thomas has not spoken to anyone. The only thing he does, is sitting at the beach, thinking about how he could've saved her.

In the beginning of their firendship, Newt had the feeling, that Thomas liked him more than just a friend, but then Teresa came up with the box and Newt noticed, that Thomas liked the girl more than him- he may have even loved her. And one day it just happened, that Thomas started talking to Teresa about all of his fears and problems and he stoped talking abot these things with Newt.

Still, he loves him, even though he wishes, he could stop being sad, when the other boy is not around. After Teresa died, he thought, that maybe he could get his best friend back, which may sound cruel, but this was his only hope.

The former second in command feels Thomas' feather like touch on his cheek and he sees his face coming closer and closer after turning his head to look at him. And then Thomas' soft lips touch his pink ones, they move in perfect sync as if they were made for each other, but Newt doesn't have butterflies erupting in his stomach. He doesn't feel his heart beating faster against his ribcage. He doesn't feel the slightest tingling in his lips, like he always imagined their first kiss to feel like.

He always dreamed about this moment but now that it's there, he just wants to run away from it and hide underneath his blanket. Of course he loves Thomas, but Thomas doesn't love Newt. He is not his Tommy. He is her Tom.

The blonde pulls away, meeting Thomas' questioning look. "Tommy, I don't want to be your consolation. I'm not Teresa." He doesn't look back, when he stands up and walks away. A single tear slips out of his eye and he wants to go back and kiss the boy he loves. But that wouldn't be right, so he continues to walk away, knowing that he just lost his best friend.

***
Hi! I hope, you liked it! <3

See you in another 3 months :)
Just kidding, I'll write another oneshot tomorrow!
I hope, you're doing well <3
~Emily