Why me?

Cece

Trigger warning mentions and descriptions of anxiety attacks. Skip to the next part if this triggers you. This part is not required to understand the rest of the story it just builds the relationship between Cece and Peter. I try not to make potentially triggering parts necessary for the whole story.

The fears I have I built walls for so I could avoid them at all costs. I would always try to avoid the feeling of butterflies and the overwhelming need to fidget. The feeling that all your thoughts break lose and take over your mind. When you can't breath. I feel that way maybe a bit to often. Peter always made me feel better until the butterflies remained in my stomach if not worse around him. I only ever wanted to be around him but I don't that feeling of hopelessness and gasping for air. Granted that hasn't happened around him just the butterflies and my heart beating faster and faster and faster. I don't want to avoid him but I feel like that is every so often that my only way out of that feeling is leaving him behind.

"Hey Cece!" It had been weeks since he found out I was bi. I was always so happy someone supported me. I have been able to go to school without that bird around me or the fear of just changing in front of everyone. Wanda helped me out with that one. I have never had a sister but she took on the role and I didn't mind it. 

"Hey Peter!" the feeling crept up on me like cheetah running. My heartbeat raced, my mind felt uncontrollable and my stomach was flying around me, taunting me.

"You okay?"

"Never better." I sped up my walk to get away from this, this feeling. 

At last gym class my last class of the day. Freedom from this stupid feeling. "Okay I know you all hate this unit but it has to be done. It's time for the dance unit." I didn't mind the dance unit that was until he said "You need a partner that is not your gender." I mean he acknowledged that there is more than one gender at least. Peter immediately looked at me and came racing towards me. 

"You ok?"

"I'm fine."

"No you're not you're laying on the ground holding your stomach." I didn't even realize the feeling I dreaded the feeling I avoided had crept it's way in me.

I gasp out the only words I can get out "I can't breathe." 

"Cece?! Come on let's go to the bleachers." The teacher had noticed and dashed towards me.

"Cece are you ok can you here me?" I can

"Y-y-yes." I stutter. The only words I can successfully get out are murmured and detached. 

"Cece come on try to stand up." At this point the entire student body is around me. I shove myself up into a standing position pushing myself towards Peter. 

A random voice yells out "Oooo Peter's got a girlfriend and of course it's the girl I reject." I rejected him. 

I once again rely on Peter to stand. Even though I am up and aware I can't breath and I can't get rid of this feeling. Random and chaotic voices ring in the background. Get her to the bleachers! Omg what the heck. Say hello to instagram Pen*s Parker. Is she ok? What's up with her? Why is she breathing so hard? Aw she's cuddling into Peter! Everyone get away from Cece!

The only one I can and will pay attention to is Peter's voice. His voice is warm and cuddly and reassuring. "Cece! Look at me." I stare into his deep brown eyes. "Go with my breathing." He puts my hand on his chest and breaths deeply over and over again. "There you go."  I haven't even thought about my breathing I was just looking at him. My breathing became more consistent. 

"Thank you Peter."

"Your welcome I'm going to get you some water." 

"Okay." I'm still a bit shocked from this situation. It was that feeling multiplied by 1000. No one tried to help and did help but him. He breathed with me he supported me. I love the moments when I'm with him but I also hate the feeling that comes with it. 

"Here." he hands me my water bottle from my backpack with new fresh water in it. 

"Thank you... for everything."

I lay my head on his shoulder and I put my hand on top of his. "Oh your welcome." he didn't want to move and neither did I so I sat there only moving to get a gulp of water in my body. Although I hated the feeling I loved being around him. Then it hit me like a wrecking ball. 

I like Peter Parker.