BLISS | ANIME ONESHOTS

III. | MY GHETTO ASS HEADCANONS

I had to do this LMFAOOO LET'S START NOW. I updated this because me and my gf brainstormed headcanons together so here's an updated list😭

Tanaka:
• You can't tell me this boy doesn't bump Tay K like he just dropped.
• He most definitely tried to get the rest of Karasuno onto trap and drill and they fucking hated it LABAKSHALVDKABS
• think's he's so submerged in the American rap scene by listening to XXXTENTACION and Ski Mask😭

Iwaizumi:
• THIS MOTHERFUCKER KINS NBA YOUNGBOY TO THE COREEEE I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL.
• I have this idea that when he started listening to YB that's when he got more aggressive with Oikawa so now he bumps YB every time he gets the chance to stomp Oikawa out.
• unfortunately drives a pickup truck and almost died in California when he let a white girl cook for him on a date
• attracts a lot of attention from boys thinking he's the fucking coolest guy and lowkey has a fanclub😭 (Kentaro is the leader of course)

Kenma:
• "HOES ON ME, LEFT AND RIGHT." — this user said on tik tok😭✋🏽
• He is aggressive as FUCK when playing the game ik he cusses Kuroo out every time he dies or misses a shot.
• but he won't do shit irl cuz he's severely malnutritious😭
• Kenma has hoes because of his internet persona, they would not fuck him if they knew he had cheeto dust on his fingers and his keyboard😫
• Kenma is what started my love for skinny niggas in 2016–

Kuroo:
• A BARB TO THE FUCKING CORE
• this man can rap the entire Pink Friday album from pure memory and bumps "Chun Swae" after he wins a game
• "I'M ME, I'M BARBIE DRIPPIN. DB9 BARBIE WHIPPIN. IF HE SAY HE DON'T WANT ME BACK, HE BE LYIN. BITCH, I'M THE SAUCE (BARBIE DIPPIN *this is Bokuto in the background😭*)"
• nerd ass loser ass nigga LMFAOOOOOO IF HE ISNT A VIRGIN THE REASON WOULD BE BECAUSE BOKUTO CONVINCED A GIRL TO FUCK HIM
• A CAPITALIST ALSHAOHDKAVDJ
• would pop out with a science joke during sex PLEASE

Bokuto:
• this boy had an emo nicki minaj communist phase and when he caught Kuroo listening to Super Bass he sung along and since then, they've kept their "secret" between them😭
• the emo never truly left him tho bc he def still bumps MCR, Slipknot, Fall Out Boy, Relient K, all of them LMFAO
• neither did the communist part either—
• Bokuto, Iwa, and Terushima are so dangerously lightskinned it hurts
• he bumps Playboi Carti cuz he's such a bad bitch
• he's the reason why Kuroo might get ONE body, otherwise Kuroo would straight up be a virgin for life
• it's funny af cuz he's a communist and his bestie is a capitalist😭 they prolly get into arguments over Karl Marx

Aran:
• THIS BOY DEFINITELY CODE SWITCHES WHEN HE GOES HOME BUT SOMETIMES SLIPS UP IN FRONT OF THE TEAM LMFAOOOO
• "I'll really beat yo mf ass ni—I mean...um, please don't...?"
• he acts like he's bout it but really he don't do shit😭 he gives suburban nigga vibes like he claims he knows black American culture but let him come over to an HBCU...poor boy would be so lost😭
• He stopped inviting Atsumu to the cookouts after he asked "where the hood fellas at?!👁👄👁💦💦"
• Claimed Jay-Z was his cousin to impress Atsumu and Osamu and they still believe him to this day
• Atsumu steals Aran's durags and wears them when he's not looking
• He hates his father picking him up from school cuz he blasts hiphop in the car so loud it scares some of the students LMFAOAOAOAO (me too lol my entire public school career consisted of family picking me up from school and they had mf Chief Keef blasting LIKE??? STOPPP BEFORE THE WHITE KIDS GET SCARED OF ME😭)

Oikawa:
• also a barb, but he is one of "those" barbs...😭
• will argue with Iwa over who gets the aux because whosever on it gets to decide the vibes
• between him and Iwa, it's either a "killing niggas and stealing their bitch" vibe or a "robbing niggas and feeling like a bad bitch" vibe like there's no middle ground between these two😭
• ugh I...I love fem boys like please😫 I have a love-hate relationship with Oikawa cuz I'LL BEAT HIS ASS IF GIVEN THE CHANCE fr fr but I like his character and I wanna fuck him sooo....YEAH
• either gay or bi don't argue with me—
• his mother is a karen which allows him to be so boujie
• irl he would NOT fuck ¾ths of y'all because he actually has standards and isn't a nerd/loser like the rest of the Haikyuu cast😭

Hinata:
• this sadistic ass chaotic motherfucker...
• him post timeskip can rearrange my guts I just know he fucks bitches and gets money like—
• WAIT WAIT SUGAR DADDY HINATA AU?!?! CAN SOMEBODY MAKE THIS?!?! OR DO I HAVE TO MAKE IT A ONE SHOT PLSSSS SOMEBODY DO THIS—
• off track omfg
• ANYWAY! He's the type to have Sicko Mode on repeat and funded his local McDonald's by ordering the Cactus Jack meal
• prolly smells like cheeto dust which is why him and Kenma get along so well
• definitely loves all music but Tanaka really put him onto Travis Scott
• "WHERE THE FUCK I'D BE WITHOUT MY SLAT$@),!?!,!?"

Sugawara:
• this boy...he tries is absolute best to be positive😭
• HE'S CHAOTIC TOO??? Like it's always the ones you least expect
• Tanaka tried to put him onto trap not knowing Suga already bumped that shit everyday on his stroll to school😭✋🏽
• TRAP HELPS HIM LET OUT HIS ANGER TOWARDS THE WORLD SO HE CAN STAY POSITIVE IN FRONT OF PEOPLE
• I feel like he's committed multiple accounts of homicide idk

Asahi:
• blasian. He's blasian. You can't argue with me on this—
• HAVE YALL SEEN ASAHI IN A DURAG?? IT MADE A BITCH WANNA NUT DEADASS
• one of those niggas to say "I don't get hoes...🥲" whole time he has bout 50 fangirls standing in the hallway ready to sacrifice themselves just for a whiff of his gooch grease I'm one of them
• a bitch...I love Asahi y'all but this nigga would be scared of his own SHADOW
• dramatic af like nigga u got blocked ONCE and JUST DECIDED TO FUCKING QUIT😭😭😭 LMFAOOO ITS LOWKEY RELATABLE THO cuz if I fail at something once I'm prolly dropping it😫✋🏽

Terushima:
• this wannabe ass LIGHTSKINNED ASS NIGGA LMFAOOOOOO
• he's so lightskinned it fucking hurts y'all—
• he does that nasty ass lip bite and raises his eyebrows in the mirror every single morning. He posts videos like that on his snap AND he approaches girls like that😭
• and the girls STILL fuck him despite the corny ass shit😭✋🏽 ITS THE TONGUE PIERCING
• bumps NBA Youngboy and Juice WRLD😭