"Our friends say we're crazy, but we can't listen, baby. They've never had it like this. They don't know what it is."
Your auntie is a hoe and has a short attention span so she decided to make a oneshot book.
- HAIKYUU
- ONE PIECE
- JUJUTSU KAISEN
...
Barb!Bokuto x Foreign!English speaker!reader WORD COUNT: 1K Pls this is one of my headcanons LET ME LIVEEEEE Also I did NOT proofread this so LMFAO!
Ups! Ten obraz nie jest zgodny z naszymi wytycznymi. Aby kontynuować, spróbuj go usunąć lub użyć innego.
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"I can't do this!"
A dramatic body of gray and black hair fell over his seat as if he were acting for a spot in a broadway play, releasing an audacious groan of distress from his lips. The woman who was seated next to him with a book in her hands rubbed her temples, boredly looking down at the performative showing Bokuto put on display. She looked down at the simple worksheet she placed in front of the boy, who quickly threw his body into disarray at the thought of being forced to cram another set of English words in his head.
"Yes, you can do this because you'll fail at life if you don't."
Who said (Y/N) wasn't just as dramatic?
Another distressed wail left Bokuto's mouth at the image of him laying on the side of the streets of Tokyo and asking for spare change.
"Fail?!"
"Yes, fail. So, pick your head up and work on this damn worksheet!!"
"But I don't wanna!"
"Do you want to explode and die on the spot? Then complete this worksheet, or else someone's coming to get you in the middle of the night!!"
They were a match made in Hell.
(Y/N) stood up from the cushion seated on the floor, taking strides across the low coffee table so she could make her appearance in front of Bokuto. Before he could register her physique, she gripped onto his shoulders and started shaking him back and forth, releasing a stressful air of her own. She couldn't front that the boy gave her not only butterflies, but a sense to beat his ass as well.
"I'm stressed! You stress me out and it's all your fault! Now I'm gonna be homeless right beside you!!" she said, still shaking his distressed figure that went numb in her arms.
"Well, un-stress yourself, then!!" he suggested, trying to stop her from shaking him even more.
To his surprise, the girl ceased her actions for a split second before starting them up back again, this time rocking him much faster than before.
"Why don't you do the same so we can finish this damned worksheet?!"
"Because you're stressing me out!!" he whined.
"That's because you're stressing me!!"
"You're forcing me to do something I don't want!! I didn't consent to this worksheet!!"
"You...are insufferable!" she let go of the boy and plonked herself back on her respective cushion, collapsing her entire body so her back hit the floor.
"You still love me, though...right?" he suddenly shifted into a sadder mood, almost causing (Y/N) to cry from pure stress.
"I need a break....I need a break...!" she held both of her palms up, standing and swiping any dust from her lower body as she made her way towards the door.
"Wait, no! This relationship doesn't need a break! I swear I'll—"
"I need a bathroom break. I'm not leaving you, Ko," (Y/N) let out a few chuckles.
You know those laughs that leave your mouth unwillingly not because shit's funny, but because life is so hopeless and you're so stressed that it seems like laughing is the only thing you can do at this point? That's exactly what (Y/N) felt when Bokuto engulfed her in a tight hug, softly rocking their bodies back and forth as he shouted apologies.
"I'll do better, I promise!"
"Good, now we won't end up homeless. I have to pee, and if you complete one question by the time I return, I'll buy us dinner," she proposed, succeeding in brightening his dim mood once again.
He raced to remove his arms from her body and plonked himself back onto his respective cushion, studying the material intently whilst (Y/N) cheered for herself in her head. She rushed to leave the room before his attitude decided to execute a 180, treading down the well-known walls of his residence.
Dating a volleyball player had its perks, but dating Bokuto specifically came with quite a few drawbacks (Y/N) was willing to endure just to experience his love on the daily. It didn't take her long to figure out he had a type of affection that wasn't easily replicable, it was something you couldn't find in other people. She cherished it greatly and took major pride in knowing she was the only one who could experience the glimpses of pure adoration she received from Bokuto.
However, high prizes come at high prices.
Just as (Y/N) finished washing her hands, a very recognizable song boomed throughout the entire house, followed by screeches of excitement from her boyfriend.
"THIS ONE IS FOR THE BOYS WITH THE BOOMING SYSTEM!!"
"TOP DOWN, AC WITH THE COOLER SYSTEM!!"
(Y/N) released another stressful wail, but then paused for a second, squinting her eyes and processing the situation she wanted to let go with all of her might.
How in the world was Bokuto singing this English song word for word...?
(Y/N), quite quickly, stomped to his bedroom and slammed the door open, catching the sight of her boyfriend parading around with an empty roll of paper towels as if it were a microphone. He sung his heart out despite the daring glares (Y/N) sent his way, looking upon her boyfriend in absolute disbelief of the sight in front of her.
"So...you know all of Nicki's lyrics, yet you can't fucking read?!"
A/N: this is inspired by this old ass video I saw back in 2018 that said "I pray for the barbssss that know all of Nicki's lyrics BUT CAN'T READ!" 😭😭😭
