Karasuno's Y/N (Fem! anorexic! Y/N)

Chapter 2: walk home

TW (for this chapter, the other triggers aren't involved for this chapter): anorexia

Akio's POV

Y/n and I were walking home now. I have to admit, I knew about her anorexia before the rest of the family found out.

First, I noticed she stopped eating properly. At home, I noticed she didn't eat breakfast and always had a small dinner. 'maybe she is going to eat more at lunch.' I thought.

Second, she was only having something small at lunch "that's weird. Maybe there is a logical explanation for it.'

Third, she let me borrow her phone one day so I could listen to Spotify on it. When I was going to choose the playlist she let me make two weeks prior, I saw one she made. It was called 'anorexic'. I was shocked. 'Ok... maybe she just likes songs like this? Some people just like sad songs for some reason. I do too, so I get it.' and went into my playlist.

Forth, a time I walked in, she had her notebook open, but closed it right away. 'Ok, this is starting to get me suspicious. What is going on?' I wondered.

Fifth, we went to a coffee shop together, and she checked her phone before eating, as she did at home or lunch. Out of curiosity, I looked at her phone, but in a way she wouldn't notice. That's when I saw what she wrote. 'don't eat too much or you'll regret it later.'

Everything clicked and I knew I wasn't losing my mind. 'Jesus Christ, Y/n... What are you doing to yourself?' the thing is, I didn't want to confront her. Though I am social, I'm not the best and confrontation. I also didn't want to tell someone considering it isn't my story to tell, and she might get upset with me.

Instead, I tried to help her in small ways. Giving her small snacks... Putting her favorite chocolate bar, or a cut-up piece of fruit (Banana or apple. Then the oranges and strawberries I didn't cut up) by her bedside... Stuff like that to try and get her to eat more.

As of this moment, I could hear the music she was listening to- Prom Queen by Beach Bunny. It was a song about insecurity and eating disorders. I sighed and Y/n looked over to me. "What's wrong?" she asked, taking her earbuds/headphones/AirPods out.

"Are you willing to get better? You've been attempting to skip meals a lot, listening to music that could possibly trigger you. Not to mention, don't act like you haven't been counting and writing down calorie intake or doing the mirror checks or measuring yourself or checking your weight a lot, because I know you still do. And the amount of times hasn't changed." I say. Now she sighed. 

"I'm trying to be willing, but to be honest, I'm not. The only reasons I'm trying are volleyball and our family. I'm trying to skip meals because I feel like I'm eating too much and too many calories. I haven't stopped counting and writing. I listen to the music because it is relatable, reminding me I'm not the only one and it's comforting for some reason. I still do the mirror checks twice a day instead of 4 times a day. I'm trying not to measure myself as much- I used to do it twice a month, but brought it down to once a month. I still check my weight every other day, but I used to do it two or three times a day. Just please don't tell anyone. I am getting better, slowly but surely." She said.

"Then I'm glad you're trying, but I'd like to try and do some things first. Ok?" I said. I've researched ways to help people with eating disorders, body dysmorphia, anxiety, or depression. I want to be able to help her.

"Ok, sure. What are we doing?" she asked. "Look forward and imagine yourself when you were younger- whatever age your body dysmorphia started forming," I said. 

"Ok..." she was kind of confused. "Now... tell her she is fat. Ugly. A failure. Useless. Stupid. Stuff like that." I told her.

She looked up at me. "Why?"