Karasuno's Y/N (Fem! anorexic! Y/N)

Chapter 8: arguing

TW: eating disorder, restriction, argument

Tsukki's POV

It has been 5 months since I have eaten what others consider a full meal. I skip breakfast saying I need to leave for school early. I skip lunch every other day, saying I forgot to make it or left it at home. On the other days, I skip dinner saying I have already eaten. 

When I eat, I normally slip some food to our puppy, or under the table, and grab as little food as possible. I know some people are starting to worry, like Yams, and Captain, and eyebags, and her brother, and my brother, and mom... 

To add more proof Yams texted me an hour ago saying we need to talk, and that he'd be over in half an hour. When he is like this about something, you know it's important. Speaking of the angel himself, he just knocked on the door. "Come in," I said.

Yams's POV

"Come in," Tsukki said. I've been worried about him. That is exactly why I'm here.

"What do you need?" Tsukki was sitting on his bed. 

"I need to talk with you." I walked over to him.

"About what?"  I sighed, it's now or never... and honestly, someone needs to have this talk with him. No one has done it, but someone needed to. The thing is I don't know how to say what he is doing to himself.

"Wh-what are you doing? Isn't it painful? ...Why?"  I ask, struggling to get the words out.

"I don't know what you are talking about. Besides, why come over this late? Aren't you tired?" and there is the denial. As always...

"You know exactly what I mean, Tsukki-" 

"No, I don't. Don't pretend you know either." He interrupted and looked at me as if we just met. The same way he looked at the bullies when he first met them.

"Don't pretend I don't know you. I have been your friend since we were little. You saved me from mean kids who pointed out a flaw I hated about myself. Let me help you."

"I don't need help."

Tsukki's POV

They always say I am sick... or rather, they indicate it.

"You don't see what I see, and everyone else does. You need help. You changed, especially your eating habits. You keep saying you're ok, but everyone knows you're not. Under the sarcasm, you are hurting. Did you forget about the elementary school bullies you stopped?" he said. I don't need help. I'm fine, just me and the voices in my head... perfectly fine.

"That was nothing. I just reminded some pathetic jerks they were being nothing but that."

Yams's POV

"What about finding out that your all-star brother wasn't who he said he was?" I wish I didn't have to say that, but at this point, I do...

"It was just a news flash that we were wrong. There is always someone stronger out there."

Tsukki's POV

"What about the pain you felt afterward? And ignored? Helping with my problems instead?" I was fine, or I would be even if I wasn't.

"I was fine, and you had confidence issues. Is it bad to help?"

"You weren't fine! I saw how hurt you were!" There is no denying that I was...

"Yes, I was. I was just shocked." but I can tell others I wasn't.

"You won't stop hurting if-" if I stop repressing my feelings. Heard that before.

"If I what? I haven't done anything."

Yam's POV

"Let me finish what I'm saying Tsukki..." I hate to say it, but at this point, I am starting to get annoyed with him.

"Don't worry about me, I'm fine." He's lying. I know he is, and I know he is not only lying to me.

"You say you are but it's a lie." He is lying to everyone else, and himself.

"No, it's not. I know I'm fine. You're the only one who thinks otherwise."

"No, I'm not! Everyone knows you aren't! The team is worried! Your family's worried!" Dachi asked me about it. So has Suga. His brother contacted me asking if he was doing ok as well. His mom expressed worry. And his Dad...

"My dad is never even home anymore!" ...was always at work. Even so, 2 people we just met know something is wrong.

"Y/n and Akio just met you and they know you're not ok!" I said, reminding him about what happened just the other day at lunch.

"You guys are just too worried! You don't need to help me!" He said, slightly raising his voice, almost to a yell, but quiet enough that no one else could hear.

Tsukki's POV

"Tsukki, you're starving yourself! Stop pretending you aren't! You never bring your lunch anymore, and even when I bring your favorite food and share it you never take any." Yams whisper and yelled, at this point struggling to get the words out. I walked over to him, after he had gotten closer with every sentence.

"Don't think so much into this. I'm not starving myself."  I said.

"Then prove it." 

...What? What does he mean?

Yam's POV

I had a feeling this would happen. So I brought reinforcements. Also known as strawberry shortcake. 

I took off my backpack and handed it to him, along with a plastic spoon in a bag. He looked at me. "What is this for?"

"It's strawberry shortcake. Your favorite. If you want to prove you aren't starving yourself. Eat the cake." I told him. "It shouldn't be that hard, because you aren't starving yourself right?"

Tsukki's POV

It is both one of my favorite foods, and making my brain malfunction at the same time. I love it, but I haven't had it in a while. It's not a food I consider safe, or that I have to stay away from at all costs. I just haven't had it in a while.

I have to do this if I want to prove I'm not starving myself, but I will most likely be angry at myself for doing so. 

I'll just have to suck it up this once because there is no way I am getting out of this one...

I eat it in small bites and after what feels like forever, I finish it. 211 calories.

"Are you happy now?" I ask him. He smiled at me. "Yes. But I'm going to stay with you just to make sure." Of course... he is really worried. He cares a lot, which can be both his best and most annoying trait.

A/N: Did you miss me? Yes, No, maybe so?

Either way, here is the next chapter... after 5 months. Either way can you guys possibly send me some ideas you may have for the fic? I have notes, but sometimes it's hard to tell where to take it from the points I leave it, so I'm asking you amazing, wonderful, kind, beautiful people for help. It would be much appreciated. Thank you <3

Either way I decided to focus this chapter more so on Tsukki's eating disorder. With my idea for the next few chapters, 5 chapters (or so, don't know when, depends on how I time things. TBH, I've been mainly winging this whole fic, besides a few pre-written plot points) later there will be another little moment of focus on his. Just a little tip.

Hope you liked it!

June 14, 2022