Ch 37: Judgment

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I woke to the sound of rain pounding on the roof and my heart seemed to be trying to keep time with the beat of the precipitation. I rose from my bed and made my way out of my room wrapped in my robe. Denizen came up and greeted me with his wet nose and a wagging tail.

"Whatcha doing here, Den?" I asked him. "Don't you have new pups to be taking care of?"

Perhaps he had sensed the trouble brewing in the air and come home to support his master. I walked out into the kitchen.

Karen greeted me, but the cheeriness of her voice was strained. It was the day where Serge and the challenger would have their say before the pack.

I was a ball of anxiety already and the meeting was not until the evening. The idea of being in the same place as the entire pack sent ice shivering down my spine. Not to mention that Landon would no doubt say curse aggravating things against Serge.

My appetite was less than usual. I made myself eat by silently, continuously chanting that Karen wanted me to eat.

Afterwards, I went with Serge to the pack offices again. For me, the day dragged on, but passed too quickly.

Before I knew it we were in his truck heading home to eat.

A slow cooker of deer chili awaited us. We both ate quickly. No doubt Karen was at home getting her children ready and would meet us at the gathering. Everyone in the pack was to attend.

I wished I could avoid it. I almost begged Serge to leave me home to avoid all the curious eyes that would be there. Worse, I would be exhibit A for why Serge was not fit to be the leader any longer.

After supper, I went to my room and tried to make myself look more presentable. I still avoided mirrors, but this time I summoned my courage and looked at myself. I had lost only a small amount of weight and if I ignored my occasional involuntary tremors I looked like an exhausted version of my old self.

I pulled on a sweater that I used to think made me look good and black leggings. I brushed my hair until it was perfectly smooth and gave up fighting with my appearance. I was not going to look any better than this, no matter how hard I tried.

I left my room. Serge was sitting at the counter as he so often did, reading over what I assumed must have been what his speech. I wondered what he had planned but I was afraid to ask.

When it was time to leave, I followed Serge out to the truck and stared out the window while he drove into town. I hoped he would say something that might win over his doubters so that the whole ordeal would be finished the next day.

* * * * * * * * *

When we arrived, there was already an intimidating crowd waiting. "Once we find Karen, I'll go to the stage and you can stay with her, alright Elise?"

I nodded, keeping my gaze fixed on the ground. I could feel pack members all around me, their scents and sounds assaulted me.

Past my own unease, I recognized that he sounded calm on the surface, but I was fairly certain that there was a tempest heaving in the depths. I felt a twinge of sympathy that the curse promptly smothered.

"There she is," he said, sounding relieved.

Karen took over. "Elise, let's get you sitting down, honey. This place is too much, isn't it? It should get better when things start. Dan and the kids are saving some seats."

She took my hand began to pull me through the crowd. I heard a few stray comments as I went by and was glad when we reached her family.

I sat where I was told and waited, praying for it to quickly begin and to quickly end.

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