Trifecta: Ice [Complete]

Ch 12: Boundaries

Serge's question hung in the air between us. I glanced over and really looked at him.

The signs of strain I had seen in his picture were still there, but he looked hopeful. I met his hazel eyes, gazing at me with concern.

It was a ridiculous thought, but if I had met him before this whole mess I would have thought him attractive. I forced the thought away.

"Did that work?" he asked again.

"I think so," I said slowly. It did work; I felt like myself; I felt light.

But I already knew that it was temporary. No, worse than temporary, it was a mere moment. I could feel the first tendrils of the magic prickling under the bandage, trying to reassert themselves.

He was not the master of the curse; the curse was the master of me, of us all.

I felt guilty in advance of dashing his hopes, but I decided on transparency while I could manage it. I met his eyes. "It's not going to last, though. I can feel it beginning again."

He looked dejected. I caught his eyes with my own and read the measure of his guilt. He really was tearing himself up over his transgression.

Without thinking through the implications of my actions, I pulled away from his side. He did not argue and he did not say anything as I turned and I wrapped my arms around him.

I did not know why I did it, except that I hoped to relieve all that misery a fraction while I still could. I put my chin on his shoulder.

He stiffened. "What are you doing?"

"I'm giving you a hug, because you look so miserable," I explained, feeling embarrassment well up in me.

"You don't need to worry about that," he argued, but he did not push me away.

"I can't help it," I told him.

I also could not help the magic ice ripples that spiralled through my bones, either. I couldn't stop them as they triggered shocks throughout my nervous system, or from diffusing through my blood or over running over my skin.

I held on as long as I could, then the fear gripped me and I skittered away from him.

The resurgence of the fear hit me hard, almost worse than if I had never had a moment of relief. It squeezed me harder as if trying to have its revenge for that one brief moment of respite. It felt like I could not breathe.

It was too much.

I swallowed. "I-i-it worked, but it w-was n-n-not w-worth the return."

I heard him swear not quite under his breath. I could not look at him again.

* * * * * * * * *

After the renewed punishment of the curse subsided a bit, I made my way back to my room and lay on my bed. I could not figure out what I had been thinking in those few moments I was free of the curse.

I was more familiar with my false leader's face now and as stupid as it was I felt sorry for him. This whole mess was largely his fault, although the anxious prickles reminded me of the fact I was not supposed to cast blame on him.

I pushed past the fear of the curse. It was his fault, but every encounter I had with him showcased that he felt bitter regret over his mistake. How could I be properly be angry at him when he was so obviously furious at himself?

And it was not just him. Although Karen seemed to regard him with the same sort of quiet sympathy she did me, everyone I had spoken to from my pack since the incident were furious at what he had done for my sake.