Trifecta: Ice [Complete]

Ch 13: Struggling

I spent the rest of the morning in my room, feeling mildly less terrible.  I tested another depressing song on my mp3 player and added it to my playlist, doubling the songs I could comfortably listen to.  I further organized all the stuff that Sean had brought me.  I looked through my piles of photographs.

I enjoyed looking at the pictures of my family and friends and the people I knew, including the two girls I knew were safe from Austin's pack.  My pleasure stemmed mostly from how good it felt to simply look at peoples' faces without being punished.

Then I moved on to the unknown pictures with trepidation.  I did not know who was safe to look at or not, so it seemed the magic simply spread my fear out over the pictures evenly.  I examined every female face and tried to figure out which one Karen was from my brief glance at her in the mirror.  The ones I thought she might be scared me more than the others.

Finally I forced myself to look at the picture of Serge, even though my eyes almost stung in the attempt.  I could feel the curse stabbing its icy shards into the back of my neck where his teeth and magic had entered my flesh.

I felt terror at the sight of him, but underneath the curse I felt intrigued.  I was coming to sympathize with my captor which was probably not healthy, but I did not seem to be able to help myself.

Naturally, I should hate him, but now I was starting to have trouble maintaining the feeling.  It was not even just the curse forcing me any longer.  It was the real, hidden me.

It was not surprising, I supposed.  I never had been good at holding a grudge if someone seemed really sorry. Maybe I was a pushover, but I could not quite help myself.

Never had I seen anyone so broken as Serge.  The magic flared up inside me at the memory of how angry he was at himself, but at least it felt no further need to assault me over my own burgeoning feelings.

My hatred of Serge might be diminishing, but I still loathed the curse with such a fiery rage that by rights it should have simply melted away.

But the curse did not work like that and it ran again throughout my body as if to remind me of who was truly the master.

The soft knock on the door startled me.  I tried to resist the urge to cower, but the curse was in full force and pushed my body down.

"Y-y-y-yes?" I managed to get out with my leaden tongue.

"Elise?  Can I come in?" Karen asked.

"Y-yes," I responded.  The curse hummed its pleasure that I was submitting to my false pack.

The door swung open.  I was so sick of the curse.  I rebelliously forced my eyes towards her.  I looked at her black and grey striped socks, the bottom of her jeans.  I drew my eyes up her legs until I could see the tips of her fingers of one hand.

My eyes fled as the curse burrowed into my bones.

"So, Doctor Fischer's here to give you another check up, Elise."

I nodded. Even though I had known him for years, the doctor terrified me, simply because he was one of Serge's pack.

"He'll be here in a minute, when he's done talking to Serge," she said gently.

* *  *   *   *   *   *  * *

I heard when Doctor Fischer entered the room.  I knew it was him because my neck prickled, but not so much as when it was my leader and also because I was becoming really familiar with the different gaits of the false pack members I had regularly met.

Serge's footfalls were brisk and determined, Karen's were as soft as her voice, and although I had never noticed it before, Doctor Fischer's were somewhere in between and made more distinct by the fact they were uneven.  He favoured one side.  I wondered if he had an old injury to contend with or something else.