Trifecta: Ice [Complete]

Ch 18: It Doesn't Matter

I left the back deck with Matthias after Serge interrupted us. The relative lightness I felt while sitting in the cool April air with Matthias was diminished in that moment.

The curse clawed at me, reawakened by the reminder of Serge.

And under the chains of the curse, I felt sorry for him, which made the curse rage all the more. I was not allowed to pity my master of all people, it was completely out of line.

We stopped at my room and I hung my jacket up in the closet. Matthias had already inspected the guest room with a critical eye before we had gone outside, but he had kept any criticisms to himself about my accommodations.

Or perhaps his expectations had been so low when I had been cursed that he was just relieved that I was not physically chained in a dungeon, I thought with amusement before it was sucked back into my fear.

We made our way back to the kitchen and found a chicken casserole on the stovetop. There were no bowls or cutlery out. I glanced helplessly at the cupboards.

Obviously, I should simply open them and find the necessary tools, but it felt like another trespass in an area that was not my own.

"H-hold on," I told Matthias.

He raised a quizzical brow at me.

"I'm going to get bowls."

"Okay," he agreed slowly.

I forced my hand towards the most likely cupboard handle feebly, before it fell.

"I can just get them, Elise," he pointed out.

I frowned at him. "I know that, Matt. But I need to do this."

"Are you being forced to?" he asked.  As always, his desire to protect me simmered beneath the surface, visible on the clenching of his jaw.

I tried again, clutching the cool metal handle in my hand. "Nope, more like the opposite."

Aha! I pulled open the door and I found neat stacks of plates and bowls. With trembling hands I selected two and brought them down to the counter. I repeated the same agonizing process with three drawers before I finally located the cutlery. Mathias leaned against the counter and watched with concern, but did not interrupt.

Then, I scooped two helpings of the chicken casserole into the bowls. A piece fell from the shaking serving spoon onto the counter, but Matthias picked it up and popped it in his mouth. I smiled at him.

"I'll give this pack one thing, Karen's a good cook."

I scoffed. "Like you know, you'll eat anything."

Matthias grinned, "I still have preferences."

He grabbed both our bowls and stopped my protest quickly. "Just let me do this, okay? You'll feel worse if you spill your supper."

I nodded and trailed behind him to the table and sat where he put my bowl. I raised a forkful, chewed, and swallowed the nearly flavourless bite while I considered my friend.

During the hours we had been together, his anger and concern had been apparent even though he tried so hard to hide it from me. It might even have been worse than that first day, because his shock had lessened, but the other feelings were still running rampant. Probably my family was no better.

If nothing else, this situation was not good for the war. I had been enjoying my hours of escapism with Matthias, but I needed to address the situation.

He was not going to push me to talk about things that were uncomfortable because he was too worried about me, so I had to be the one to bring it up.