❝ She moves like she don't care
Smooth as silk, cool as air ❞
𝐈𝐍 𝐖𝐇𝐈𝐂𝐇 the christian songstress and the spy who loved her live happily ever after... eventually
#4 in jesse st. james (23/08/21)
#14 in tina cohen-chang (23/08/21)
UNDER RECONSTR...
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"Okay, guys, so first of all I want to welcome Ms. Hitchens and the Jane Addams glee club. We're all very happy to have you guys here. So, um, we're going to let you guys start us off. Let's see what you got." Schue introduced.
"Hit it." Ms. Hitchens instructed. Once again, Maria found herself feeling bad for Brad getting bossed around by strangers.
"Mr. Schue, you seem concerned." Rachel observed, after the Jane Addams glee club finished their performance of Bootylicious.
"What? No. I mean, they were great, but we're just as good." Schuester replied.
"Mr. Schue, if I may. What they were doing was just all smoke and mirrors. It's called hairography." Rachel stated.
"What?" Schue asked.
"Hairography. All the whizzing of their hair around just to distract from the fact that they're not really good dancers. And their vocals were just so-so. Trust me. We've nothing to be afraid of." Rachel revealed.
"It just makes them look like Ozzy Osbourne." Maria agreed.
☆
"All right, guys. I did some thinking last night. I think I found our new number for Sectionals. We're going to do the title song from Hair. Now, this show started a revolution." Schuester announced. Maria personally prefered Hairspray and You Can't Stop The Beat would absolutely kill the competition at Sectionals, but unfortunately Maria was once again reminded, she was not the boss.
"Wait, did they have mohawks back then? Like in the 20's or whatever?" Puck asked.
"1967." Maria clarified.
"Yeah, Mr. Shue, if we're going to do a song about hair, shouldn't we have more hair?" Finn questioned.
"One step ahead of you. Here are your wigs." Schue replied.
"Mr. Schuester?" Rachel asked.
"Yeah?"
"What are you doing? We are fine where we are. We don't need hairography. It's just a distraction." Rachel insisted.
"I hate to say it but I agree with Polly Pocket." Maria added.
"Look, I have to be honest. Those Jane Addams girls did freak me out a little. And I'm worried about our chances for Sectionals. I mean, we have to pull out all the stops if we want to win. Looking great, guys!" Schuester stated.
☆
Kurt and Maria were discussing Kourtney Kardashian's pregnancy (and imminent due date) when Rachel stormed over to them - well, Kurt. "You set me up...with Finn!" she complained.
"Looks like someone is running for drama queen again." Kurt commented.
"And she's upped her game." Maria added.
"How could you do that? I thought we were friends." Rachel questioned, causing both Kurt and Maria to express faces of confusion.
"And what made you think that? You should be thanking me. All I did was help you realize that your schoolgirl fantasy of running off with Finn was nothing but a fairytale." Kurt protested.
"Especially considering he's having a baby." Maria added, sure they all knew he wasn't the baby daddy but nobody had any intention of telling Rachel nor Finn that information yet.
"You like him. Yeah, that's, that's what this is. And you were just trying to eliminate the competition." Rachel insisted, causing Maria to laugh.
"I was just helping him understand that you are not a viable second choice." Kurt claimed. Maria didn't know why Finn needed a second. Aside from the cheating thing, if she even got the chance to date Quinn Fabray she wouldn't dare even think about having a second. Kurt linked his arm in Maria's and turned to walk down the hall away from the bunny boiler-in-training before mini Alex Forrest began following them.
"You think I'm a second choice?" She asked.
"A distant second." Kurt clarified.
"Especially against Quinn, who literally can look like Marilyn Monroe, Britney Spears or Madonna at any given moment." Maria pointed out.
"You think I'm living in a fairytale? If I were second or if I were 50th, I'd still be ahead of you because I'm a girl." Rachel insisted.
"Okay, here's the dope, princess: There's no hope for either of us. He loves Quinn. They're having a baby together. We're nothing but distractions. The sooner we realize that...The better." Kurt commented.
"So literally what I've been saying this whole time." Maria muttered.
☆
"Thank you all for coming. We are so honored to have you guys here. So, without further ado, I present the New Directions." Schue announced to Haverbrook's Glee club, who were perfoming a mashup of Hair and Crazy In Love.
"It didn't work at all, did it?" Rachel asked.
"No, it's just the rehearsal. It's still just a little rough, But we're onto something." Schue insisted.
"We're not." Maria muttered to Santana, before the Haverbrook glee club began performing Imagine.
☆
"We're starting from scratch. Grab a stool." Schue announced in the choir room.
"So, we're a stool choir now?" Artie asked.
"Nope. We're not dancing with the stools. No gimmicks. No false theatricality. We're just going to sit in them and sing." Schue clarified.
"Sounds like a stool choir." Maria mumbled as they begun to sing Cyndi Lauper's True Colours.
A U T H O R N O T E double update? y'all are too blessed to be stressed.
bra wires are annoying i just needed to share that underwires should be burned, fuck u primark (real)
nobody: rachel berry:
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