❝ She moves like she don't care
Smooth as silk, cool as air ❞
𝐈𝐍 𝐖𝐇𝐈𝐂𝐇 the christian songstress and the spy who loved her live happily ever after... eventually
#4 in jesse st. james (23/08/21)
#14 in tina cohen-chang (23/08/21)
UNDER RECONSTR...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
"Where's Rachel?" Kurt asked.
"She's not here yet." Finn replied.
"State the obvious." Maria mumbled, sarcastically.
"Perfect. Glee club stands on a delicate precipice. We have all felt the cold humiliation of a slushie in the face. But as of right now, our relative anonymity as a club shields us from more severe persecution: swirlies, patriotic wedgies..." Kurt began.
"What's a patriotic wedgie?" Mercedes interrupted.
"It's when they hoist you up the flag pole by your undies." Finn explained.
"Strangely, it did make me feel more American." Artie commented.
"They don't call us the Yanks for nothing." Maria stated.
"Based on my investigation, I am of the opinion that a yearbook photo would only fuel the flames of anti-glee-club terror. I've done a little library research. Peter Gellar. Glee club second tenor, 1998. He can be seen here with both a drawn on Hitler mustache and rice paddy hat. Shortly after the yearbook came out, Mr. Gellar had a nervous breakdown. He is now the homeless man who sleeps in front of the public library." Kurt revealed.
"Patches?" Quinn asked.
"Patches." Kurt verified.
"He barks at my mom." Brittany stated.
"He used to date my Aunt Bridie." Maria mumbled in shock.
"Exhibit B: Tawny Peterson, glee club class of 2000, seen here in her photo with a cartoon knife stuck in her head, in a macabre tableau that, in four years would prove eerily prescient. I think I speak for all of us when I say that not having to pose for a yearbook photo might be a blessing in disguise. I suggest not fighting Figgins' ruling." Kurt continued.
"Her parents didn't help giving her a dumb name." Maria commented. If Maria was to ever have a child, sure as hell, it's name would not be Tawny.
"Oh, hey, guys. Ah, looking at old Thunderclaps?" Schuester greeted, entering the choir room.
"It's really unsettling." Artie commented.
"Completely disturbing." Maria added.
"And totally unfair. Hey, can I borrow one of these?" he asked, taking a yearbook from Kurt, "You know what? This year's thunderclap is going to have a glee club photo with every one of your smiling faces. You have my word on it."
"Please God no." Maria complained.
☆
"Hey, guys! Great news! Glee club gets a photo in the thunderclap. Yep. It's going to show everyone at the school that glee club is on its way up. When we win regionals, those claps are going to be collector's items. I mean, all of your classmates are going to be begging for your autographs. But, I had to compromise to do it. Um, we only get a quarter page in back. Which means we have to pick two team captains to appear in the photo. So, tomorrow we're going to put it to a vote! Exciting, huh? All right!" Schuester announced.
