Desiderium

2| Adieu

A R A B E L L A

Mama was gone.

Like really gone. Forever gone.

I can't believe she left me I'm all alone now.

I wanted to feel numb and stop the pain but I couldn't.

I was mad at my mother for not telling me that I had brothers.

I was furious at my alleged father for abandoning my mother and me.

Was my mother lying about running away? Was it my father's fault? Did he abandon her and she was forced to run away? Did he kick us out?

I was somehow also relieved that I had a blood-related family left.

I didn't know how to exactly feel about the fact that I have brothers. I always wanted siblings.

I couldn't blame them for my sperm donor's mistakes, they were just kids and they were just as powerless as I was in this situation.

Why did my father leave me?

Why did he want me back now?

Why did he keep his sons but not his daughter?

I couldn't sleep last night, I kept overthinking everything.

He didn't want a girl, or was I simply just not good enough?

How did my life change completely in a blink of an eye?

I sat on my bed comfortably—and maybe the last time for a while—my suitcases, filled with all of my stuff were laying on the floor near the doorframe of my room. My gaze lingered on the two letters on my desk. I will keep the letter with the name 'Lorenzo' labeled on it till I know exactly who he is. I decided to grab mine and read. I opened the beige envelope and ripped it opened

Mon ange,

If you're reading this, it means that something bad has happened to me.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry I never told you about your father or brothers. I needed to keep all of you safe, so I took you and ran away. Away from the criminal world even though we never truly escaped it but our identities were hidden and our safety was assured.

Your father, Lorenzo Romano, is a dangerous man, the whole Romano family is dangerous.

When you were born everyone was delighted, they loved you with their whole heart. But you being the only girl born in the Romano bloodline in the generation put a target on your head. Your life was constantly in danger.

But when, I start receiving threats from powerful and horrible people, putting my family at risk, I panicked.

I knew my husband could keep my sons safe and that they could handle themselves. However, your life was at more stake than any of us since you were our weakness, the only thing that could bring us down.

No matter how much guard and protection we ensure for you, you would have always been in danger. Those people were malicious and ruthless they have no ounce of compassion. And I knew a child or not, they would have killed you sooner or later.

So I took you and ran...

What I have told you about my family being the French mafia is true but that wasn't the main reason why I ran away. I'm sorry I lied.

I regret leaving your brothers and father behind but I don't regret keeping you safe.

Now, you have to adapt to life with your brothers and father. Please, don't push them away, they adore you. I knew that you have built walls around your heart to protect it but let them in, mon ange.