Desiderium

6| Dear Enzo

L O R E N Z O

I watched the retreating figure of my daughter, my little angel, my Principessa. She had grown up into a wonderful woman. Even though I don't know much about her since I just met her after fourteen painful years of being deprived of her. I must admit Emilie did a great job at raising her.

But what if I was here to help her raise our daughter?

That's a question I will unfortunately never have the answer to. Because as much as I want to, I can go back in time and change fate.

I sigh and took a glass out of the cabinet. I sit on the leather chair behind my desk and poured some whiskey into the cup. I bought the glass to my lips and gulped the burning liquid. My eyes traveled to the envelope that was sitting on my desk, the same one my daughter gave me. I stared at it skeptically, not knowing whether I should open it or not.

I put the glass down and hesitantly reached for the envelope, I took the letter out and finally start reading my wife's last words to me.

Dear Enzo,

If you are reading this I means that our daughter is back under your care. I need you to love her and protect them no matter what. I know you don't owe me anything, but she's been through a lot and I can't see my only daughter go through any more pain.

She finds it difficult to open up to people and trust them so just give her time, and never give up on her.

Don't keep her in the dark Enzo, she is more than capable of handling and protecting herself but it would be better if you kept an eye on her.

I know you and my baby boys probably hate me and I don't blame you. I was an awful wife to you and mother to them.

But you deserve to know the truth, I did not leave because I wanted to nor because of the danger of this world. I was raised in the mafia and I knew the risk of it.

But something happened that pushed me to run away and take Arabella with me.

I had received a package containing photos of Arabella sleeping. It was the Russian mafia, they threatened to take her and if I had informed you they would have gone after the boys, it was too risky, and I couldn't put any of my children's life at stake. I had to protect my babies, all of them, I couldn't put anyone in danger.

I'm sorry for all the pain that I put you and my boys through but you have to understand. Lorenzo, my Enzo, my husband, my first and only love. I never for a minute stopped loving you. I will always love you and my baby boys there wasn't a day that I didn't think of you. I hope that someday you can find it in your heart to forgive me. Please protect our babies and keep them safe and loved.

My boys. How much I had missed you.

I'm sorry for leaving, I am sorry for being a shitty mother. You deserved better.

Leo is my oldest baby. I had kept tabs on all of you over the years and I wanted to tell you how proud I am of the men you have become. You are always here for your sibling, here to protect them and comfort them. I love you, little man—even if you aren't so little anymore.

Emilio is my sweet and caring boy. I am so delighted that you have pursued your dreams and had become a doctor. I am glad that you didn't let go of that loving and compassionate part of you. Never change. I love you, Lio.

Lucas, my little grumpy bird. You were always a mama's boy and I know my departure affected you a lot and for that, I am eternally sorry. Don't let that anger you have bottled up inside of you ruin everything good in your life. I know that deep inside you are a big teddy bear. And I know you and Bella were always so close. Form that bond again. I love you, Luc.