Under the Stars

38. Nervously

Chapter 38: Nervously

Mia's POV

*****

I could feel my nerves building up as we neared the cinema. My heart was thumping like crazy, and I had no idea what I could do to slow it down. I was unsure about why I was so nervous. It was not like I was scared, but I was just not used to going out with people. I did not feel very comfortable doing so, especially since that meant that I was going to need to socialise.

Jack, Sophie and Jade were my friends, I had no problem with them, but I was still awkward around Jack and Jade. Sophie was my cousin, and probably the only person my age who I was not afraid to talk to. When it came to other people, though, I was always afraid of saying the wrong thing and making a fool of myself. I was never a cool person, especially not once I opened my mouth.

I was shy around people I didn't know, or wasn't too comfortable with, but once I get comfortable, I never shut up. There were only a few people I felt comfortable with, and only two of them were not in my family tree.

I wondered what it would be like if Layla and I were to be reunited. Whether I would feel nervous or scared, or whether I would end up messing up and ruining everything. The latter was one of my unwanted talents. It was easy for me to ruin things, and sometimes I did it on purpose. I tended to push people away, just so that I could protect myself from ultimately getting hurt. Not many people understood my reasoning behind it all, but those people also did not know how many times I had been left alone once I allowed somebody in.

Of course, I had told Layla all of that. I told her that I tended to push people away and shut myself in, and she didn't care. She told me that she would always be there for me, no matter how many times I were to shut her out.

I had never known that there could ever be a friendship so strong that not even one fight emerges. After having been friends with Layla those past couple of months, I had finally figured out what real friendship looked like. I had never had a real friend, no matter how badly I wanted one. That was one of the many reasons why I had created an imaginary friend, one I still talked to when things got too hard for me, making me feel hopeless and alone.

My friendship with Layla was one of the most beautiful things in my life, even if it was one of the hardest. It was hard for me to not be able to hug my best friend tightly, or to be able to hang out with her and make people envy our friendship. Our friendship was the kind of friendship which a lot of people probably wanted to have.

At some point, I had thought that I found that friendship. Jade was the closest friend I had ever had who did not live miles away from me. Before Layla came around, Jade had been my ride or die. We were close, and I thought that are friendship would never die, but it somehow did.

It was nobody's fault, even if I had blamed myself at the time. I blamed myself for not having fought for our friendship more, and for not having worked hard at keeping it. Both of us slowly got out of touch, and surprisingly, I was not that hurt. It was a gradual shift, gradual enough for me to come to terms with slowly.

But my friendship with Layla was a lot different than my friendship with Jade. I could not quite put my finger on it, but it was. Layla was a lot more than just my best friend, and certainly a lot more than just my sister. She was my angel. Somebody who I could not live without.

"Mia," Sophie said, grabbing my attention.

I looked at her, noticing that she was waiting for me to get out of the car. Clearing my head from all of those thoughts, I got out of the car. Susan, Justin and Jack were already there, waiting in front of the door.