~17~ He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not

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The sun filled my room, with warmness

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The sun filled my room, with warmness.

Oh, how I wish I can stay in all day. Checking my phone on a weekend, Cathy was the first person to message me. With us seniors not having to be in school anymore, all the popular kids been throwing parties all week. This weekend there is going to be one near my house and Cathy wants to go. 

She begged me about it for a while and I gave in.  All I have to do is ask my father.

"Can I please go? Please?" My hands folded over my chest as I plead for permission. 

He lifts his head to look at me, giving me a bit of hope. "The last time you went to a party you lost your phone and didn't come back till next morning." He scolds me. He takes shallow breath and closes his laptop. "But- it is your senior year and you do deserve this." He tells me. 

Why does he get so strict with me when I am sure he was worse than me as a kid?

Suddenly, I was happy that he had let me go. I jumped up and down and ran to the other side of his desk for a hug. 

Who was I becoming getting all excited for a party? It's not the same. 

"Have you heard from Yale yet?" He asked. 

My mood was drawn from, one hundred to zero, in a matter of seconds. I didn't want to think about school for another week. At least up until graduation. I shook my head at him and told him, "I wish."

Passing by his office I had to see my mom. She was of course in her bedroom doing work from home. We talked more about the baby. I hoped for it to be a girl, just like she does. 

She told me stories about her and her mom, also my grandmother.

I asked her to talk about my birth again. Only because it was so traumatic for the both of us. She has a scar on her right leg from randomly getting shot at a home invasion. She was only seven months with me, and I was ready to be relieved to the world. I'm not sure what it was I was so anxious about it. Theres nothing pleasing about it besides memories and moments. 

After I was born my parents were so focused on our safety they never slept or took their eyes off of me. Luckily for the most part, I grew up decent, given the trauma. 

I walked up the stairs and turn to my right. Glancing at the side, I know Christian is in his room. That's if he's really home. I worried for him all night. 

How and why did he have a stab wound?

"Earth to Marlie." Julius waves his hands in my face, taking me out my daze. 

"Oh-Hey." I smile. 

He takes his hands, placing them in his back pockets. "I feel like I don't see you often, and we live in the same house." 

My eyes stare at his baby blue shirt and light jeans. It's different from what I am used to seeing him in. "I have been all over the place lately." I mention. 

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