Tell me // H.S.

August

Okay here's a very short BUT EXTREMELY IMPORTANT chapter. It's a new POV and it is going to change a loooooot of things for the rest of the story. 

The song for the chapter is August, by Taylor Swift (my mother) YOU WILL UNDERSTAND WHY REAAAAAALLY FAST believe me!

Sorry for the long wait I've been having a hard time writing, and I'm working on a few songs right now which has been eating up my time as well. I really hope you'll like this one, even though it's a short one. 

Let's gooooooooo

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Judy's POV : 

Salt air. Somehow I could still smell it, even after all this time. And I could still hear every single word spoken in the quiet of his room. Every whisper. Every 'are you sure?'. Every joke and every laugh. I could still feel the light touch of his fingertips, or the way his lips felt. 

Or the way my tears felt as they rolled down my face when summer ended. 

We spent it twisted in bed sheets, sipping wine, messing around. And now all of this was nothing more than a memory. A moment in time. Because all of this was only a dream. A dream I wished could've become a reality. But, still, just a dream. And it slipped away, slowly. 

Until there was nothing left. 

I remember his back underneath the sun in the morning. I wanted to write my name on it. I wanted to make him mine. I wanted for him to stay. To love me just like I loved him. Of course I couldn't say it. I could never tell him. But deep down I hoped that maybe when summer would be over we'd carry on. That maybe he'd call me. But he never did. One day I thought I had him. And the next day he was gone. Cause he was never mine. 

But there was a time when we were changing for the better. We were starting to know each other a lot more. He was opening up. Telling me about her. About how they met. How they fell in love, he said. And how he could never let her go. How he couldn't let her fall out of love with him. From what he said at first I thought she was an idiot for pushing him away and making him cheat. I thought she was responsible. I thought she was the one to blame. Because he was hers. And I wish he would've been mine. But that was never the case. I hated her. Because, for him, I was just a distraction. For me, he was more than that. He was summer love. And I gave him so much. When I talked about him and I, or thought about him and I, it was always "us". But there was no "us". I hated her. Yet, she was the only one who had something to lose. He wasn't mine, so he wasn't mine to lose. Never was. 

Cause how can you lose something if you don't have it. I didn't have his love. I didn't have his respect, now that I think of it. I didn't have anything of him. Just a few stories he had told me. Just the memories of that summer. That's all we were, at the end of the day. A bunch of memories. For me, it was enough. We were enough. But not for him. He went back to her. He would always go back to her. But would she want him? I didn't know. I didn't care. I didn't want to know. 

I ended up hoping that she'd reject him. 

She knew he was seeing me. Maybe she would take him back for a while. Maybe she would try to forget what he'd done. Maybe she would try to forgive him. But that's not something you can ever really forgive is it?

I ended up hoping she'd reject him so he would come back running to me. So I could tell him that I didn't want him anymore. That was a lie. Of course I wanted him. But he didn't deserve my love. He didn't deserve for me to take him back. I wanted to look him in the eye and tell him that his little game was over. 

She took him back, just for a few weeks. Then he slept with another girl and she had to say something. So she confronted him I suppose. I don't know exactly what happened. All I know is that he left her all alone for almost a month. 

That's when I met her. I mean, I had seen her a few times in one of our classes. But when I talked to her for the first time, he had just left -she told me that a few months later. We quickly became friends. I couldn't find a way to tell her that I was the girl he saw all summer. She was so sweet, so understanding. She almost felt sorry for him, which made me sick. But after a week I stopped seeing her. She didn't come to class anymore. I tried to find her on social media. I managed to contact her best friend, Tom. I asked him if she was alright. He said she was having a hard time.  He said her boyfriend had left her without an explanation, saying he needed space when he was the one who messed up in the first place. 

That's when I started hating Tyler. 

He hurt me first, by not giving me as much as I was giving him. But what he did to me didn't matter : he hurt her and then left her, without saying why, letting her all alone, probably blaming herself for his mistakes. I hated him. And I couldn't tell her who I was to him. I could never. I needed to be her friend, and help her get over him, and away from him. But how could I ever do that when I was part of the reason why they fell apart? One day, she would know. That was for sure. We had always been very discreet, never going in public together, never talking about it to anyone else. But she would connect the dots at some point. She would find out. But as long as she didn't know, I would be there for her.

That's how I became Starla Robinson's best friend. 

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hahahahahahahahaha so um fun? Turns out Judy knew Star before they even met....

How do you think things are gonna go from now on? What if Star found out that Judy was involved with Tyler before she broke up with him?

Well, you'll have to wait and see I suppose. 

All the love <3

Marie.