Tell me // H.S.

Scared to live

AAAA I'm so excited about this chapter, things are gonna start to get a bit weird 

I hope you guys will like it, also listen to the chapter's song!!! (it's so good, Scared to live, The Weeknd) 

Let's goooooo 

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Star's POV : 

When I got to the door of the hotel room I got a strange feeling. Some "deja vu" type of feeling. It was almost 9pm and Tom hadn't called back, probably too exhausted and hungover to do anything else than sleep or watch TV. I told Harry I was gonna go back, just to make sure he was all good. He wanted to drive me back but I told him it was fine. I didn't want to bother him. 

When my hand reached the door knob I got a strange feeling. Some "deja vu" type of feeling. The door was open. Maybe Tom ordered room service at some point and then didn't close it properly. Or maybe someone else came. No. That was impossible. No one else had the key anyway. 

When I pushed the door and saw what was standing on the little table under the TV I got a strange feeling. Some "deja vu" type of feeling. My whole body shivered, suddenly covered in goosebumps. Flowers. Red roses. 

When I read the note on the flowers I got a strange feeling. Some "deja vu" type of feeling. My knees went weak and I collapsed to the floor, bringing them to my chest and rocking back and forth, my heart racing, a cold sweat coming down my back. It was him. He had been in here before I came back. He had been in this room. He found me. And he wanted me to know that he was still gonna find me. 

Always. 

That's the thing about sinking. Sometimes you think you're finally gonna reach the surface again, and you're giving everything you have to swim back up. But then you feel something grabbing your ankle. Something that's even deeper than you knew. Something you thought wouldn't come back. Something you thought you had left at your lowest point. And this thing pulls you back down. Deeper than before. Faster than before. Because you can't fight it. It doesn't give you the chance to prepare yourself. It just pulls you down. Deep. So deep. And in a second, the surface disappears. No matter how hard you try to keep your eyes open and look up. No matter how hard you try to scream under the water. No one hears you anymore. 

And you start drowning. 

-The next morning-

Harry's POV : 

Star opened up yesterday. 

I know how hard it was for her. To tell me about her ex. To explain in detail all the things she felt when he left her with no explanation. To let me in and show me a part of her that she hides deep inside. But I'm so thankful that she did. Because it just confirmed to me that we are indeed very similar. Because I've known all the emotions she told me about. Because I know what it's like to want to scream all the time because the place that felt like home is gone. And to know that it's never coming back. Because I know what it's like to lose yourself, thinking that the person you loved was everything you had and everything you were. And because I know how hard it is to finally admit that it's not true. That you don't need this person to live. That you need to start living again actually. That you can't be scared to live again, because of your past. It took me a long time. And I know she's probably still figuring things out. But she's on the right path. 

I don't want her to be scared to live. 

I haven't really been able to sleep. Part of it was due to the fact that I couldn't stop replaying everything she had told me and hating the man who dared to hurt her this much. But also because I couldn't stop thinking about the fact that I almost kissed her. Twice. And that some part of me thought she wouldn't have pulled away from me. But I had to keep that out of my mind. She mentioned being a bit uncomfortable at times with her ex, she didn't say why. I don't know what he's done to her. So I can't get ahead of myself. If she wants to kiss me, she will. I don't want to be a complete dick and force things to happen. I don't want to be like her ex boyfriend. I can't be like him. No matter what happens. I'll never be like him. I'll never hurt her the way he did.