FNF Senpai X Reader || Corrupted Code

Chapter 13: Promises

(i havent updated in months. oh, god, i havent updated in months.)
(hi, how the fuck does this have 10k+ reads)

Despite the fact that life was as normal as it could get with Senpai, keeping your promise to do what he had asked of you was hard. Though, that was not surprising to anyone.

Though, that was something understandable, wasn't it? You could still feel his fingertips lingering on your skin. Or his soft words as he ran his fingers through your hair. He was rushing things, yet, taking it slow at the same time. It made no sense to you, and even though that was the case, you felt yourself feeling thankful despite everything else. You didn't want to feel thankful.

You felt as if it was all your fault, and you were sure that, to a certain degree, it was. But, did it really warrant all the things that were happening? You felt hostage in your own home, you felt as if one wrong move would end in you getting hurt in some bizarre way, even with how gentle and caring Senpai had claimed to be. You could tell his patience wasn't there, that it was wearing thin and the way he would hold you close to him was very telling of the way he was slipping past the point of no return.

You could see it in his eyes. The glare when you jerked your arm back or turned away from him. He wanted your attention; he wanted you. And you were sure that, if things weren't like this, you would have wanted him, too. Maybe not in the same regard as he, or with such desperation, but he was a sought after man. You hated the part of you that still wanted to help him. You didn't want to help him, you wanted to leave and never come back. You regretted everything that you did.

Maybe, if you were more gentle with your words and more accepting, this wouldn't have happened? You wouldn't have been hurt nor would you be in this situation. You felt at blame for what happened. It was counterintuitive. Maugre all your pride, you know that something has to be done. You didn't trust him, but maybe you could help remedy the situation. He was already self-aware to the point where he knew his feelings were wrong, maybe you could use that to your advantage and push him in the right direction?

Yes, push him toward the right direction and fucking get out of there. Call the police, a friend, anything - it would help you escape the situation and that's really what you valued most of all right now. You may have regrets in the future but your health was more important, right? Of course, it was. And Senpai's antics and gaslighting was draining what little sanity you had left to begin with.

Then...

Why did you feel bad? A part of you felt remorse for Senpai as if you understood how he felt. And you were sure, to a certain extent, you did understand. But not to the point that he has gotten to. 

He was depraved, downright fucking insane. He didn't deserve your pity. But for your safety and health, you would have to give him the luxury of something he didn't even fucking deserve. You felt terrible in spite of everything. You wanted to talk to your friends again, you wanted to go back to the time you foolishly thought that you were playing a dumb, romantic dating sim.

You felt your shoulders begin to tremble and your eyes burn as the sudden feeling of desperation washed over you. You bit down on your lip as a means to console yourself, to shut in your forthcoming tears. This was hell. This was hell and you were living through it. A shaky exhale slipped past your lips, your jaw trembling as you tightly shut your eyes. Nothing would ever work out, will it? You're going to be trapped like this forever. No matter how much you fought, no matter how much you swore to defend yourself, Senpai would always reveal that he had the upper hand in the situation regardless of everything.

Though, who were you kidding? Blaming yourself wasn't going to do anything but make the entire situation even worse. Senpai would soon catch wind of your even more depressive state, and thus would become more concerned than he already was, and everything would backfire. Your entire plan would be thrown straight into the gutter. Right, right - you needed to make sure that you wouldn't show how he makes you feel, how he has truly ruined your chances of being a normal, functional human being. 

You just wanted everything to be normal again. You wanted to rewrite your mistakes, stop yourself from saying such cold things and pushing this situation to the point that it had gotten to. As you had aforementioned, if you were more gentle and caring with your words, none of this would have ever happened, right? Senpai wouldn't have... done this? Or- would he? Was this set in stone, bound to happen to you?

A shaky breath escaped your lips suddenly, but before you could choke back on a sob, you heard the sound of light footsteps inching closer to your door until it was soon gently opened, Senpai's sing-song voice coming from the doorway;

"Oh, (Y/N), there you are," he said with a chuckle, "I've been looking everywhere for you. Did you not hear me call your name? I was worried sick." His voice drew closer until you felt his hand land on your shoulder, causing you to lightly flinch, which he took note of. "...I see," was all he said, a feeling of dread washing over you as your heart plummeted in your chest. "I've forgotten how humans are social creatures. You're lonely, aren't you?"

What?

Before you could ask him what he meant, he spoke up once more, "don't act dumb with me, darling. I wasn't born yesterday. I can tell that you're not as happy as you normally are," he paused, "well, not as happy as you pretend to be, at least. It's because you've been lonely, isn't it?" He would always catch wind of how you were feeling, wouldn't he? Was it from months of watching you through your computer screen, or a learned trait he had acquired overtime from being forced to watch others? You wouldn't know for certain.

A couple of moments passed by, and as a ball of spit lodged itself in your throat, you found yourself shakily nodding. "I knew it," he said, " well, I suppose, since you've been on such good behaviour, we could go out somewhere..." Despite yourself, you eagerly flipped around to face him, only to find him staring directly at you with the same baby blues that you dread. You had expected a stern expression, a scowl if anything, but he wasn't staring at you with any malice or hidden deceit. 

Senpai smiled, but he seemed actually happy this time around, he seemed... happy that you were interested in the idea, or, at the very least, surprised. Did he actually care? "I knew that would cheer you up. We could go to the park, or the store, just like you said we could a while ago. Doesn't that sound perfect? Your face is lighting up at the mere mention of leaving this house. I know how it feels to be trapped somewhere you really don't want to be, so think of this as a treat." His words held a certain edge to it, and you were so caught up in the bliss of leaving that you didn't even stop to think.

Senpai doesn't do things like that just out of the kindness of his heart.